Training Myself to Nurture

I really admire people, mother's especially, who are so gifted to recognize and acknowledge the good in those around them.  One who can look at a child's pathetic performance and the only thing they mention and/or see is their effort or progress which in turn uplifts and encourages the child.  I hate to admit it, but I've got hard-wired blindness to the good, when things are amiss - so aquiring or practicing this skill has been quite a struggle for me.  But I recognize the value of focusing on the positive and nurturing my sweet ones with recognition for their efforts and building a portfolio of victories.  In fact, one of the purposes for starting this blog was to practice regular efforts of recognizing the good in our own lives and in my children.  I may have been a little optimistic about my success at recording in the victory journal everyday, but it is happening occasionally.



I have, however, been more successful in training my children to focus on the positive verbally than through blogging.  In morning devotional, we each state at least one positive review.  Something good and positive that has happened to us, for us, or because of us.  We've been doing it for about six month's now and the kids are becoming fairly used to the routine, at least.  It's becoming easier for some of them to recognize the good - even if it is nothing more than 'getting their pre-flight done on time' or 'drawing a picture they are pleased with'.  There are those days when one child can't seem to find the positive about anything in their life and they are paralyzed.   Unfortunately, I've noticed that when they are paralyzed that I can't seem to see anything in their life worth being grateful for either and so I diligently search for something...anything... or work to create something to which might bring them joy. 



One thing we've started this week is a positive preview.  Hopefully this will be a time of goal setting, anticipation, and hope for good things happening to them.  Most of them state social events in nature such as 'playing with a friend' or 'going on a trip to town', but I'm hoping they will branch off into other passions and learning projects such as 'I'm going to write a thank you card to ______ for what they did for me,' or 'I'm going to do a science project today'. 

Now that I've had a little practice seeing the positive in my own life, I believe the next step in my journey is for me to recognize my children's effort, successes, and goodness. I'll be using this blog as a training tool to discipline my mind until it becomes more second nature.  Since I'm only writing a few thoughts per child I'll focus on the ones that each child seems to particularly have a struggle in.  This will be a little bit of stretch for me - especially in writing - but here goes.

     Wilberforce (is the miracle child that has a natural optimism to whom I look up to for inspiration.  She has for years written in her journal every night and only records victories, miracles, blessings, strengths, inspirations, and comedic incidences.  So maybe if I follow her example there is hope for me)   The other day, she informed us in a most decided manner that she intends to celebrate the fourth of July by entrepreneuring.  I never really thought of it that way before but it does have merit since that is what the founders established our free market society to do.  She also has been so diligent in her daily practice of piano that she sat down to try her hand at a simplified piece of Shubert - and it sounded fairly well.  Granted it was a little choppy but not bad at all for her first time through.  I'm so proud of her decision and example to teach herself to play the piano by practicing for a half hour each day.  She is an inspiration to us all.



     Shakespeare impressed us all as after an incident of explosive contention between her and her sister (over a bowl of ice cream) she spent some time praying and decided to treat her sister better.  The two of them have been almost inseparable for the first time since they were little children.  She also has been engaging in some love of learning projects on her own - simple and huge ones, but the initiative has been all her own.  There have been times that I worried about Shakespeare and just how she'll turn out, but then, out of the blue, she tackles something that far exceeds my expectation of her and put all my fears to rest for a little while.  If it wasn't for the uniqueness and (shall I say) strength of will of this daughter, I would have missed out on some of the most life altering and strengthening decisions of our entire family.  

     Austen gave an amazing impromptu lesson in our devotional this morning.  I'm finding that she is blossoming and growing at a phenomenal rate.  One thing she taught me was about her attempts to smile and make eye contact with most everyone she meets, and though I hadn't realized this particular trait before, she does brighten every one's day with her cheerfulness.  She is making courageous efforts to manage her adolescent  hormones and her childish habits.  When a report came that she usually keeps her side of the room clean by her roommate, I was deeply surprised by the news and beginning to think that she might be growing into some good new habits.  Yeah!

     Washington has spent the last couple of days with large keytones (which is very dangerous to someone with diabetes) and has been feeling really awful.  He's been handling it all like a trouper and courageously admitting his hand in the lack of proper managment.  Cheerfulness is something he struggles with a great deal, and so it's been amazing to see him resignedly accept this health trial in stride without throwing a pity party.  I've also noticed more frequent 'yes' answers and less 'no- not yet' answers when I interrogate whether he has finished his preflight, fed the pigs, or checked his blood.  I'm so grateful that he is making progress in being responsible.

     Hypatia didn't want to do the dishes tonight because there was a larger than usual amount to be done,  but she simply rolled up her sleeves and dug in.  She was cheerfully doing them and pleasantly surprised when I joined her to help it go faster.  What a treasure she is.  And when we brought home a new movie that she would previously have produced behavior unpleasant to those around her, she very graciously was pleased and excited without going overboard. 

     Joan of Arc is such a happy, sweet child that I'm not sure where she might be struggling other than in maybe eating nutritious foods.  But tonight, she did just that.  After several frustrations that she couldn't have a popsicle until she finished her dinner, she was resigned to eat several big bites.   She went to sleep before finishing it, but I'm pleased that she was willing to eat something that wasn't laced in sugar. 

     Of course baby Enoch is perfect, pleasant, and a joy in my old(er) age.  Rarely fussy, eats good, sleeps good, smiles almost to where I'm tired for him, I'm truly blessed to have such a good baby. 

Wow, I feel so much more genuine love and gratitude for my children.  I think this will be a very good thing indeed.