I won't go into much details, but well over a year ago, maybe two, I had offended a friend. As I realized my offense, I went and apologized, laying everything on the table so to speak, so that she knew exactly what was going on and we could clear the air. Needless to say, this effort to make amends backfired horribly. She became terribly embittered toward me and I could do nothing right. Everytime I saw her, I received livid looks, icy stares, or could feel the venom somehow traveling through the air. And so I would keep my distance, give her space, and wait patiently for time to do its magic. But somehow, she didn't seem to be improving with time. In fact, it seemed to be like an infection that was festering, making things worse and twisting the interpretation of events into something that was so not even true. Not long after things transpired, I had come to terms with the situation and my heart had healed. I detached with love - not holding any malice, fear, or resentment. I had moved on with my life. But for her sake, I kept my distance so as to not give her more fuel for the fire of hatred she was fanning.
Then a few days ago, I caught a glimpse of how this bitterness was tearing her up inside. She didn't want to feel the hurt and anger that was consuming the goodness in her. It bothered me considerably. My peace came about because I had given myself time and space - but that wasn't working for her and I didn't know how best to help her to heal. I decided I needed to counsel with someone who might be able to give me some insight that I was obviously missing. After sharing a few particulars, my 'counselor' suggested that maybe my detaching from her was what may have been disturbing her so much. That had never even crossed my mind. Time and space is what I needed to heal, but it was having the opposite effect on her. This idea was very disturbing to me, to think that my efforts to be noble and love her inspite of her malice - wasn't communicating love at all, but some type of superiority, hatred, or not needing her. All I had to do was face my fear of apologizing.... again, even if it backfired.... again, and show her that I loved her in her love language - not mine. It may or may not keep the bluh-bluh monster down for good, but it is a nice reprieve.
Another incident occured that had me in awe of the power of love. My good husband was heavily concerned about the events that are taking place in the world today. Government's constant meddling in powers that are not their own is taking its toll on those of us who are freedom lovers and honor our founding documents and correct principles. I won't elaborate which meddling was on his mind, suffice it to say I thought his concern was self-preservation. But that night as we said our couple prayer, he pleaded with the Lord to remember to have mercy and love for President Obama and the others who are infringing on God's laws. And it wasn't the pleading that one hopes makes him look good, but a genuine love and concern for these brothers who are lost. It made me feel honored to be married to such a noble man and a little guilty that I felt only concern for those people who are being duped by them - not the leaders/influencers themselves.
I know love for them will not equate to the government bluh-bluh monster giving us a rest, but it is certainly a better way of facing our fears. The Lord counsels:
'Love your enemies,
bless them that curse you,
do good to them that hate you,
and pray for them which despitefully use you,
and persecute you.'
What a powerful response when bad things happen. What a wonderful gift to be able to be touched by love.
