I love the word "Victory".
Something about that word resonates with me - more than success, or conquered, or triumphant. It has a sense of personal mastery and overcoming insurmountable odds.
I choose every day to be the Victor instead of the Victim.
I've tried several methods to help keep victory in my mind.
Everyday in school we have a positive review where we state one positive thing that happened to us, for us, or because of us - so everyday we are focusing on our Victories.
I try to write down my victories in my personal blog (happeninghaven.blogspot.com) and I try to keep my facebook posts on a positive note.
I try really hard to recognize my 100% accountability (avoiding the blame game) in all my situations and practice having my heart at peace in my relationships.
I don't put up with kids who are stuck in victim mode.
Through these efforts, I have to admit the process of seeing the positive is becoming a much easier and natural event now.
It wasn't always the case. For years, I wouldn't be caught dead focusing on this type of thing. I don't believe it was a conscious choice, but probably more a by product of not wanting to look boastful, or tactless, or even bizarre to be happy over miniscule events. But when I realized that I was not only uncomfortable being victorious but was completely incapable of even seeing the good in my life, it began to worry me. I couldn't praise myself for what I got accomplished and was paralyzed to seeing only the things that needed improvement. My false humility had created a healthy dose of stinkin' thinkin.
I guess I had learned to let other people give compliments and I outwardly say a gracious thank you, but all the while rejecting what they said on an internal level. And so when I was required to come up with five positive reviews, every single week, for a class I participated in, it was incredibly painful, and at times impossible. I learned I had to prepare, an hour or two before class, simply to think of anything positive that I could report. How pathetic is that?
So now positive reviews, victories, and basically positive energy come quite easy to me. There are times that I still struggle but for the most part, I'm generally happy with how life is going.
And then I get this insight while studying my scriptures this morning. . .
First, a little background. The Lord is explaining how He used the Assyrians to destroy the hypocritical Israelites. And the Assyrians are looking at all their conquered nations, and draw the conclusion that it is because of their own greatness, their leadership, their military strength that they had these Victories. It never even occurred to them that the Lord ALLOWED them to conquer his chosen people because he wanted to teach them a lesson.
And so in my Scripture Journal, I jot something down along the lines of "Don't forget the Lord is involved in all our affairs," and "focusing on our victories is a sort of Pride and lack of faith in him".
Oh . . . my . . . goodness . . .
Here I thought I was moving in a positive and improved direction by including the positive and victories in my life, but could I be every bit as guilty as the ancient Assyrian King.
It never occurred to me to consider the Lord is the cause of those little victories in my life. Well, maybe in Sunday School lessons and possibly token acknowledgements here and there but obviously not enough to have my perspective changed from self to service.
It never occurred to me that our positive reviews and victories were actually perpetuating the pride cycle in our individual lives. Hello!!! Every individual and every nation that has ever fallen has been because of the pride cycle. And the only antidote is . . . Humility.
I'm still trying to wrap my little brain around the fact that circumstances that are different than my preferences may be the very asset I need for something better than my vision.
I still choose everyday to be Victorious. I still choose to accentuate the positive and de-emphasize the negative. But I'm redefining VICTORY. It involves trusting that the Lord is using me to accomplish his purposes (not the other way around). It involves finding a way to be grateful for all my life's circumstances and not just the pleasant ones. It is submission and gratitude.
And if I can do that, I truly will be VICTORIOUS!
