What's The Difference?

During our math class, we learned the following principle:

          “A number called a Subtrahend can be taken away from another number called a Minuend, and the answer is called the Difference.”

 

Your typical subtraction problem, right.

Well, during a recent conversation, I began to notice a “difference” between my feelings for one relationship and my feelings for another relationship.  Let me try to explain.  I have what some may consider to be pretty high standards.  Evidently there are a lot of people out there who do not share or have as high of standards as I do.  And that’s fine.  To each his own, right.  For the most part, my attitude toward others is indifferent and may come across as self-righteous (I hope not, but I am aware that there is that possibility).  Basically for those who share my standards, I connect with easily, and those who do not, I really don’t interact with or even care to. 

So here I am visiting with this friend that I haven’t talked with in over 20 years (and I probably never would have come in contact again if it hadn’t been for facebook).  And I’m realizing that their life choices, well, really hasn’t changed that much since high school.  Drinking, smoking, swearing, rock music, video games, not really caring about education, jobs, or even national affairs, not really religious in nature, and not necessarily principled driven.  We are probably what you’d consider complete opposites.   And as the conversation continued, I could feel myself repulse with each disclosure that was contrary to comfort zone. 

…But only for a brief moment.  I could sense my discomfort, but then it immediately dissolved into acceptance, generosity, and even great admiration for this individual.  I still really liked this friend and so it didn’t matter at all that their standards and life choices were opposite to my own.  Granted, I really do believe that higher standards, nobler ambitions, and a purpose driven life is the only way to obtain true happiness – and I invite them to consider the benefits of… well…. making life more challenging (now isn’t that inviting).  But my friendship is still secure even if they don’t. 

So as I’m pondering why I felt this way in regard to this friend, and normally feel indifferent toward other individuals of the same caliber, I was curious ‘What is the difference’?  What is the Subtrahend that is deducted from normal associates that isn’t deducted from my friends?

I guess it doesn’t take a genius to discover that ‘love’ is the missing ingredient or the subtrahend.  When ‘love’ is taken out of the equation, there is a difference – indifference, or sometimes even judgment.  It’s made me consider that maybe I’m filled with way more judgment than I thought and much less charity than I had hoped.  

                                  ‘Relationship’ take away ‘love’ equals ‘judgment’. 

Which brought me to the next thought.  Since Heavenly Father is filled with charity, maybe this is how He feels toward all his children.  He is incapable of not loving us, He's our spiritual daddy.  In fact his love is so great that he has dedicated his entire work to helping us be successful and happy.  But when he sees us make wrong choices, or pretend he doesn’t exist, or live way below our potential and privilege – all his disappointment, hurt, and discomfort vanish away because ‘love’ is still part of His equation.  He loves us completely.  He loves us regardless.  He loves us unconditionally.  And yes, He too is hoping that we will choose the more challenging life by keeping his commandments – but only because he knows that will bring us happiness, eternal happiness. He knows we'll be dead a lot longer than we are alive.  He loves us enough to want us to be happy. 

So now I want to change all my subtraction problems (all those strange people I look at in question at Walmart, all those morons who call in on talk radio, all those co-workers who live only for the weekend) to addition problems that includes genuine brotherly ‘love’ in the equation.