Showing posts with label Things of the Spirit. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Things of the Spirit. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 8, 2018

Identity Crisis

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I’m having an identity Crisis!

(And I don’t mean the one that occurred as my children transitioned to the public schools while my life’s work of home-education came to screeching halt.)

As long as I can remember, I have been taught that I am a child of God.  I learned it from my parents as we had family home evening and read from the scriptures.  I learned it in primary as the leaders went to great lengths to plant those seeds of faith in our young minds.  I learned it as society at large (although subtle, it was still there) had references to mankind being created in the image of God and through the lineage of Adam and Eve.  I learned it myself as I received the confirmation from the Holy Spirit whenever I heard these and other witnesses of this truth.  Prophets, seminary teachers, good neighbors, local ward members.  Everywhere is this underlining knowledge that there is a God and he is my Father. 

And to be honest, I thought I believed it.

That is until I realized that maybe I didn’t. 

If I truly believed that the great Elohim was my daddy – my life would be very different.  I wouldn’t have contradictory beliefs that I am not worthy or not enough or not valuable.  I wouldn’t even consider statements that appear to contradict this (or other divine truths) as carrying any weight at all.  There would be no addictions or character weaknesses.  My potential wouldn’t be viewed as limited nor would I struggle with scarcity mentality.  My religious experience would be rich and meaningful, never simply going through the motions.  I wouldn’t allow others, or myself, to treat me with disrespect. My self-talk would be positive, encouraging, and centered in truth.  And I wouldn’t feel trials and hardships are an injustice being played on me, nor would I ever feel abandoned or alone. 

Some might say that is simply part of the earthly, mortal experience.  I say it is simply a by-product of my lack of faith. No wonder the Savior said “Oh ye of little Faith”.   I have had faith to receive the witness of this truth and faith to profess it myself though maybe not enough faith to carry it over into application internally. 

The Vicar's view

My daddy IS the Great King and father of all Creation.  I AM worthy.  I AM enough.  I AM priceless.  My needs are met (no need for addiction) and I live a principled and virtuous life.  I have limitless potential and thrive in abundance.  I connect and am aligned with my daddy’s will, my Savior’s atonement, and my family’s hearts.  I embrace growth opportunities to become like him and I know He is always there. 

I’m confident that as I choose to increase my faith in this truth – I AM A CHILD OF GOD and increase my understanding of the nature of God as well as my own true eternal nature, then my identity crisis will be over and I can apply what I know to be true.

Saturday, August 30, 2014

A Fringee's Frustration

“Everybody’s Doing It”

As a youth, whenever I used that argument with my father, he would break out into a boisterous song. 

“Everybody’s doing it, doing it, doing it
Picking their nose and chewing it, chewing it, chewing it”


It was so aggravating that he couldn’t, or wouldn’t, understand the importance of being a part of the crowd. 

I’ve since learned to appreciate his wisdom.  Maybe not the song so much, but the concept that the masses don’t always make the wisest choice. 

With that consideration, I’ve begun a journey which involves walking to the beat of my own drum and down a path that society might not promote or condone.   

Why have a chosen a different path?  I guess you might say my eyes have been opened and my appetite awakened.  Call me ‘Ratatouille’ if you will.   It is difficult to be content eating sewage when I know there is a banquet of delicious gourmet foods available instead. 



It reminds me of the following account.  If memory serves me correctly, Socrates was having a debate with Thrasymachus about the benefits of being just.  Thrasymachus gave case after case of convincing evidence how the ultimate objective, which is happiness, can only be guaranteed by being unjust.

 In each argument, Socrates conceded that he was correct.  But even with all this evidence, Socrates was unmoved in his opinion.   He then began to point out that all of Thrasymachus objectives - (more toys, on top, carefree & fun, a rush, etc.) defined happiness at one level and that level provided temporary pleasure.  But there is a higher level of happiness (inner peace, genuine joy, fulfillment of purpose, service to mankind, etc.) that can be obtained only by being just.  A just person may not have all the benefits of the lower level but the higher level of happiness far outweighs the cost. 


And so this journey has made me somewhat of a fringee – different than the masses, on the outskirts of mainstream.  Not necessarily a social nerd, a computer geek, or trekky (ok, I may be a trekky to small degree).  Not a ‘stuck in an era’, an animal rights activist, a rebel without a cause and ‘I make my own rules’ type of fringee.

 I’d probably call myself a ‘seeker’ type of fringee.  Seeking truth.  Seeking to preserve truth and freedom and correct principles in a world that is rejecting them.  Seeking to devote and consecrate myself to my maker.  Seeking to be a force for good. 

So here is where my frustration comes in.  The more enlightenment, empowerment, and direction I’m given, the more I want to invite others to embark on the same journey.  But because I’m a Fringee, my message is ignored. . .  belittled. . . disregarded.   The closer I come to feeling genuine love and concern for my friends who have chosen a different path, the less effective I am at reaching or influencing them. 


For example.  I keep having this recurring day and night mare.  I visualize myself standing at the bar of God on judgment day and next to me are my dear friends, associates, and even potential associates (if I would have been friendly enough to open my mouth) who did not receive a pass.  They look at me with pleading eyes, and ask why I didn’t share what I had with them while there was still time?

My heartstrings are torn and my eyes well up with tears even now simply thinking about it.  As I consider the billions upon billions of souls who had successfully become victors of their first estate but have, or are, blowing their second estate, I feel overwhelmed with grief, heartache, and compassion. 

But what can I do.  I’m considered a fringee.  Every time I attempt to invite, my effectiveness is a nill because what I have to offer is not considered mainstream.  I’m viewed as “eccentric” and overly “passionate” and have an “over the top” position.   My message, my love and concern, my desire for their obtaining genuine happiness seems to never come to fruition.  And that frustrates me deeply. 

 I suppose I could focus on the positive – and only interact with those who have already chosen to take the same journey as myself.  Have my little clique of fringees who speak the same language and leave the rest of the world to fend for themselves while they enjoy picking their noses and chewing it.  But I find no contentment there either. 

So I’m stuck . . . . . . .  a frustrated fringee.   Still engaged in the noble cause of what I seek, but feeling the pains of rejection.   









Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Coping with Pain

Pain


Emotional Pain

We all experience it at some point in our lives. 

*A desired relationship never comes to pass

*Or a relationship we thought was forever has turned cold

*Questions that we can’t answer . . . no matter how hard we search

*Our foundation is shaken and we don’t know what to stand on

*A loved one uses their agency in a manner you know will hurt them

*The current trial seems unbearable and unfair

*Depression that blocks any hope -trapped by rage, fear, or helplessness

*Realizing “I’m not enough”

*Trying to overcome addiction but instead experience only bondage and powerlessness

*Feeling Stuck – unable to create the change in your circumstances

*Confusion – so many choices, which one is right

*An injury or disease that won’t heal in spite of your best efforts – this is compounded pain because it is both physical and emotional

And it doesn’t seem to help knowing that everyone experiences pain too.  My pain is personal.  My pain is all consuming.  My pain is preventing me from living life on my terms.  

As I consider my own pain and witness friends and family dealing with their pain - I’ve noticed a kind of grouping as to how people generally respond. 

The Quitter

General Jar-Jar at the first sign of trouble says “me give up, me give up”.   This fatalistic approach doesn’t even put up a good fight or preserve self through flight, but goes directly to surrender.  It reminds me of the juvenile response when others don’t play the way they want them to, so they threaten “I won’t be your friend anymore!”


                Those wounded in a relationship decide to never get involved emotionally again.  Those searching for proof but cannot find it quit caring completely.  (This seems to be the response of the so-called atheists/agnostics/deists/etc. because they cannot find what they perceive as a satisfactory solution from deity.)  Those who are weak and worn simply give in to addiction/inclination/temptations.  Those who are stuck continue the same course assuming that’s as good as it gets.  Those suffering from chronic illness or injury are resigned to a life of dis-ease and give up on the search for healing.  And ultimately, those who are discouraged to the point of quitting take their life (based on the false assumption that it will stop the pain)
The Dishonest

This is the band-aid approach to pain. The zit cover-up so that our blemishes have a false front. Not really finding any healing or resolution but a coping response that frequently makes the pain worse after the cover-up wears off or adds up.  We hide in hopes that no one will seek to actually see that we are vulnerable. This is commonly seen as denial, isolation, drinking, over-eating, putting on an act that everything is amazing.


                There are all kinds of love songs that portray the ‘It’s all good’ front but secretly still holding on to the pain of being alone.  The physically injured/ill adopt a lifestyle of popping pain pills.  The confused put on a mask and pick their favorite cover-up weapon.  The addict lives in denial that anything is wrong or that they can stop any time they want to.  The limiting belief of ‘not being enough’ is over compensated with cockiness or maybe humor.  The depressed hide under their facade until such time that they cannot conceal it anymore.  The seeker simply goes through the motions, hoping that something will make sense at some point.  And life’s trials become the trigger for the unhealthy response of drinking (and for those who don’t drink – use other numbing effects such as over-eating, work, watching mindless television, etc.)

The Fighter

Ready to engage, to fight back, to create change.  Sometimes bitter or motivated by resistance or revenge.  These are the movers and shakers, the pro-active creators.  Training and fighting like Rocky Balboa or changing their stars like Sir Ulrich von Lichtenstein or Gandhi.   The fighter becomes their own Savior and rely on their own strength for deliverance.  Their heart is at war - taking matters into their own hands.


The soured relationship turns into looking for something different at best or seeking revenge at worst.  The unresolved heart sets out on a quest in search of the truth – investigating, questioning, weighing.  The concerned friend/parent sets about creating change to reach the heart of their loved one.  The overburdened puts together a plan to simplify or alter the conditions which they are experiencing.  The depressed take measures to cope with their condition in a healthy manner.  The discouraged change their focus to what they can do and choose to be content with things as they are.  The addict seeks help from qualified and supportive sources.  The trapped continue to resist the victim mode by seeking escape or salvation.  The physically hurt continues to search and apply efforts to heal and overcome. 
The Faithful

Trusting, hopeful, full of faith and vision, believing there is purpose in pain, and power in submission.  The faithful put their professed belief in God into actively exercising their faith in him.  Corrie ten Boom in the concentration camps is preserved by trusting and hoping despite her powerless circumstances.  George Washington endured the unbearable conditions of Valley Forge, believing that not only his cause was just but it was God’s will and providence that they would somehow win.  Their heart is at peace – no matter the circumstances. 


The one who is hurting in relationships turns to God for comfort, trusting that there is a valuable lesson to be learned or purpose in the transpired events – and trusting that somewhere, somehow the future will provide the companionship that their heart desires.

Those seeking for understanding continue to search but with a submissive heart - understanding that our purpose is to walk by faith and so we won’t be able to understand all things in this life but at some point in the future, all things will be made manifest, God’s mysteries will all be revealed, and we will understand completely and confess that God’s ways are just.

Those who stand on shaky ground or have been introduced to doubt, instead saturate themselves in what they know is true, doubt their doubts instead of doubting their faith, seek for Heavenly strength and fortify their foundation.

Those burdened with concern for others poor choices, put their efforts into the only source of hope and ultimate power they know – they pray God to soften their heart or bless them with a wake-up call before it’s too late.

Those overwhelmed by their trial pray earnestly for deliverance and seek to learn whatever lesson they are to learn with this situation so that they can move forward.

Those who struggle with depression understand that their perspective is currently tainted and hope for the good moments to break through the darkness to provide some type of relief.  They also understand that this trial is a temporary burden, only during this life, and that they will be free of its grasp for the eternities, if they endure it well.

Those discouraged by their inadequacies, recognize that they are given weaknesses in the flesh for a noble purpose, and God has promised an inheritance to all who magnify their abilities (talents).  And so they put their focus into what they can do, rather than what they are incapable of doing.

The addict humbly realizes that they have used their agency poorly to the point of complete bondage and are incapable of delivering themselves by their own power or even by the support of counselors or well -meaning friends.  Instead, they look to the Savior, accessing the power of the atonement to restore what was deceptively taken from them.

The stuck put their trust in the Lord’s desire for our welfare, knowing that a way is provided, but it is not for us to dictate whether that deliverance occurs in this life or the next.  Always praying and petitioning but still submitting to His will.

The confused eventually trust that the Holy Ghost is the only true source to heed and allow all the other voices, temptations, and options melt into the background.  Again not necessarily understanding completely the error of some options but trusting that the truth will be made clear at some point in the future.

The physically marred can only persevere by their trust that there is purpose in their pain, even if it is only to be an example of how to endure it well.  They understand (in their good moments) that this experience is but a small moment in time and they have the eternities to be immortal and perfected.



The good news is if one identifies themselves in one group but desires to respond to their pain in another – it is a choice.  Oh the power of choice.  

Friday, September 13, 2013

Spiritual Self-Reliance

The following is written version (as best as I can remember) of the talk I gave in church on Sept 8, 2013. 



When I got up this morning and began grooming and primping - I was focused on that task when Grady walked in and told me to take as long as I needed – to not rush on his account.  ………  It took me a while to figure out that he was referring to the talks.  But thanks to brother Hillman, our concerns are reversed since I am the concluding speaker. 

When brother Hillman called and asked us to speak – he seemed a little unsure on how to describe the subject.  He said ‘something along the lines of spiritual and temporal self-reliance’.  Grady has just addressed the topic of Temporal Self-reliance and so I’ve found four aspects of Spiritual self-reliance that I’d like to touch on today. 

The concept of self- reliance seems to indicate some type of personal power.  Some type of self-salvation.  That through our genius or intellect, through our good management of time and resources, or through our industry and efforts, through relying upon our own strength  – we are capable of accomplishing or succeeding in life or in anything.   

I propose that just the opposite is true.  It is through our dependence upon our own efforts that we place ourselves in spiritual bondage and actually prevent any true success or growth or salvation. 

Korihor, a great anti-Christ, promoted these very concepts of self- reliance. (Alma 30:17)

                                “And many more such things did he say unto them, telling them that there

 could be no atonement made for the sins of men,  but every man fared in

this life according to the management of the creature; therefore every man

prospered according to his genius, and that every man conquered according

to his strength; and whatsoever a man did was no crime.”

 

All our efforts of self success – goal setting and visualization, or life-planning and life management, or push a little harder and persistence, to get beyond the splatt, believe in yourself -  all of these done without the sanction and guidance of the Lord, who is the true and only source of power, are manifestations of our vanity (in ourselves) and our unbelief (in Christ).

                So Self-reliance, Self-sufficiency, and Self-Mastery – in this perception – is hypocritical.

Professing Christ as our Savior, but then living as thou He doesn’t really matter

 

                I’ve heard it said that True Self-Reliance is relying on the only true source of power. 

True Self-sufficiency is turning to Him that is Sufficient. 

And True Self-Mastery is turning our self over to the Master. 

 

If we as a people turn to self before turning to God, we are dangerously close to the people of the church in Alma’s day. (Alma 4:6)  See if any of this rings true in our church today.

                                “…the people of the church began to wax proud, because of their

exceeding riches, and their fine silks, and their fine-twined linen,

and because of their many flocks and herds, and their gold and their

silver, and all manner of precious things, which they had obtained

by their industry; and in all these things were they lifted up in the

pride of their eyes,…. “

 

So instead of self-reliance, which may create feelings of self-power, maybe RELIANCE ON GOD (1).  Relying on his spirit to guide us.

Which brings us to the next facet of Spiritual self-reliance.  I like to call it our INNER ALLEGIANCE (2).

A number of years ago, I learned a word, at a two-day math seminar of all places.  And I didn’t think much on the word at that time but have since reflected on again and again.  It has been such an eye-opening concept to me as I’ve pondered the implications and seen my own folly in so many respects.  And so at the risk of not giving it fair justice in this brief outline I wanted to share it with you.  And I invite you to take some time and consider just where your inner allegiance lies.   

The word is Epistlemology. 

With the root being epistle.  It’s not necessarily the study of letters… but the study of knowledge, understanding, truth, or how one determines these things.  We, as the covanant people of God, would claim that we obtain knowledge and truth by revelation.  But I was surprised how frequently I put my trust and determining power in other epistlemologies. 

               

*Revelation (Knowledge revealed directly from God through his spirit)

                *Credentialism (revelation by an expert – someone with credentials rather than from God)
 
                 This is a big one in our society today.  There are so many experts that put their revelation 
                 out there for us to buy into.  Take for example, nutrition.  The experts, such as the FDA,
                 tells us what is good for our bodies and if they put their stamp of approval on a box of
                 something, we consume it without even considering that it is not in the form of a whole
                 food that was created by God.  We allow experts to tamper with our seeds (GMO’s), and
                 our seasons (fruit all year long), and our standard (The food guide pyramid).  Even if it is in
                 conflict with the revealed word of wisdom. 

Another area is with our health.  The experts called doctors council is above our own judgment  and we neglect to use the herbs or the priesthood first.   We adopt fad diets to lose weight rather than trust in the sweat of thy brow.

Education is a huge area where we are guided by experts.  If a professor (with credentials) says it, or a textbook (which is put together by experts) states it, or the system (which is established to separate God out of our education) promotes it – we accept it as the way it is – rather than being guided by the spirit.  How many times do we make sure our child is learning the common core standards, rather than seeking what the Lord wants them to learn.   We seek learning by what the experts dictate as learning rather than by study and by faith and using the power of the Holy Ghost to identify the truth of all things. 

One thing my daughter pointed out is our choice of careers is motivated by the credentials associated with it – how much money or success – rather than where our passion lies or what God would have us do to bring about his cause.

                *Mandarinism (An official or supposed authority declares truth)-

This is where we put our trust in these supposed or temporary authorities rather than in trusting in the supreme power and authority of the Kingdom of God.  This is where we vote based on what the polls indicate has a chance of winning, rather than voting our conscience of who would be the best choice.  This is where we support a political party, even when their platform is the ‘lesser of two evils’.  This is where judges make a ruling that is inconsistent with God’s laws – and we are ok with it.

                *Imperisism (the scientific method proves that it is true)

                                So much of our society buys into proof through the scientific method.  Which is
                                interesting because science is incapable of proof positive.  It can only disprove a
                                previous theory.  Only the Holy Ghost has been given the ability to prove a truth.                                  That is one of his purposes and yet we rarely are convinced of it unless it done 
                                through another mean. 

                *Pragmatism (the knowledge has stood the test of time and it works)

This is where the traditions of our fathers is where we put our trust.  The habits, the way things are done because it has always been done that way, the reason we cut off the end of the rump roast is because that is the way our mother did it.  Some of the traditions of our fathers are very good to continue in that path, such as our founding fathers or our spiritual leaders who have established systems or beliefs or traditions that are for our benefit.  But there are some that once we are on auto-pilot, we don’t even think just how inconsistent our behavior is with our beliefs. 

                *Aesthetisism (it is too ordered, beautiful, and symmetrical to be anything but true)
 
               I believe this is an epistlemology that is more prevelant in the eastern culture because, I
                haven’t found much of my own emphasis on this.  The only thing I question with this            
                concept is that if one were to look at the universe and be in awe of its majesty and beauty. 
                On one hand you have the creation and on the other hand you have the big bang theory. 
                Both theories claim to be the cause of this ordered universe, but one theory is seriously
                flawed.

                *Reason (the use of one’s own logic to prove something)

This is where we have the vanity, the audacity, the concept of self-power, to be the determining factor if something is true.  One might hear things as ‘It just stands to reason’, or ‘It’s only logical’.  I’m not promoting that we don’t use our reason, or to not think things through.  Quite the opposite.  It is only through pondering and weighing information that we can have the confirmation of the spirit to testify of a truth.  It is when we trust in our own ability to determine truth, without the spirit’s approval that I feel we verge on getting on unsafe ground. 

                *Historicism (lessons from history and cycles prove the knowledge as true)

                                Since I love history, I probably fall prey to this epistlemology more than I would
                                like.  This is where we conclude a truth, based solely on what has happened in the
                                past.  Seeing the cycles and repetitive nature of life, we trust in our conclusion,
                                rather than trusting in prophecy. 


Some ways we can identify as to where our inner allegiance lies is through some Human Tendencies. 

*WE TEND TO BEHAVE THE WAY WE BELIEVE

                This is a good thing.  We want our behavior to be consistent with our beliefs.  But if we reverse it, and look at our behavior, it is an indicator of where our epistlemology is and what are true beliefs are. 

*WE TEND TO HAVE CONFIDENCE IN WHAT IS MOST FAMILIAR…, EVEN IF IT IS WRONG- 

This is why it is so important that we immerse ourselves in things of the spirit - in the scriptures, in the temple, in church, in family.  And not spend quite so much of our time familiarizing in things of the world.  So that we can have be familiar with and have confidence in - truth.

The third aspect of self-reliance is in regard to the ELEMENTS OF FREEDOM (3) that are associated with it.
Freedom is two-fold:  Freedom from outward compulsion, which I’ll address in a moment   as well as freedom from the adversaries influence.

Our bodies are in a fallen state which puts us not only subject to the influence of Satan, but it is our default if we do not consciously choose out of it.  When we are spiritually self-reliant or choose to yield to the enticings of the holy ghost, we experience spiritual freedom from that default. 

I grew up in a very LDS family along with my younger brother.  We had the same family home evening every Monday night, the same family scripture study and family prayer.  The same parental influence and family standards, and yet my younger brother’s inner allegiance was very different than mine.  He must have put too much merit into the other epistlemologies and world views and philosophies of men.  Which has put him in both spiritual and physical bondage.

                For the last several years he has had semi-permanent residence in prisons, mental hospitals, and Alocoholics Anonymous, with heavy medications, and the debilitating effects of being a social outcast.   While growing up, he had every opportunity to strengthen his testimony of the Savior, but he could lean on our parent’s testimony for only so long before the default of the fallen nature took over. 

                I’m happy to say, that he may have hit rock bottom and in his last letter, it looks very promising of him finally believing and trusting in a higher power – and he is looking at his parents beliefs with the idea that maybe they were right after all.  Maybe he needs to not only believe in God but also have a real, personal relationship with him. 

Elder Marion G. Romney said-

                                “Whenever we get into a situation which threatens our self-reliance,
we will find our freedom threatened as well.  If we increase our dependence, we will find an immediate decrease in our freedom to act.”

I’ve heard it said that the way to gain Independence is through independents.  Dependents are consumers, handout takers, and crowd followers who conform to outward pressures.  Independents are producers, owners, creators who weigh choices and make a conscious decision based on their internal government and correct principles. 

A number of years ago, I read a little pamphlet written by Ezra Taft Benson when he was the secretary of Agriculture.  It wasn’t very big but it has affected my choices and thinking processes in a big way.  It is entitled “The Proper Role of Government” and basically it outlines what government should do and how it shouldn’t step out of those boundaries.  I profess to be honest in my dealings with my fellowmen, but he pointed out that when I accept handouts from the gov’t, I am stealing from my neighbor without their consent.  The concept was very powerful in helping me want to choose to be governed by correct principles, rather than by opportunity.   I considered that if I wasn’t forced to provide for my neighbor (forced charity) through unjust taxation, I couldn’t wait for the phone to ring with some charity asking for aid.  I got excited about the concept of setting aside a certain amount of money for philanthropy and seeking out the opportunities of doing good in the world.  Helping the homeless, seeking some good cause to promote, supporting some entrepreneurial idea that will bring about positive change in the world.  I know we can do this right now if we choose to but it would be a lot easier if the government didn’t always have their hands in our pockets.

Physical freedom from tyrannical gov’t is created through temporal acts, such as grow your own food, or make your own, well, anything – but the desire to be free, the intent, and the decision to choose those temporal acts for the cause of freedom, even if it is uncomfortable or inconvenient, is spiritual in nature.

Once we have the freedom to have abundance, we can choose to serve.  That brings us to the fourth aspect of spiritual self-reliance.  It is a precursor to serve, a prerequisite to living the celestial Law, the foundational element of building Zion.   

The Lord does not encourage self-reliance so that we can stand alone – He promotes Unity.  He doesn’t encourage it so we can have an advantage over those who were not wise enough to act – He invites all to receive the blessings which he has to offer.  Neither does he encourage it so that he doesn’t have to provide for our temporal needs – He created all the heavens and the earth and is very capable of taking care of our physical needs.  But he doesn’t do for us what we are capable of doing for ourselves.   All of His commandments are gifts of how to be truly happy…and only through self-reliance can we position ourselves to do what will bring genuine happiness  - through serving each other.

That is God’s way of perfecting the saints – The “Have’s” serve “Have not’s”.  Not in a robin hood type of redistribution of wealth or give handouts of fish, but because we feel genuine love for each other, we teach each other how to fish.  Those who ‘have’ abundance are sanctified by the sacrifice they make to help those less fortunate.  And those who ‘have not’ are sanctified by humbling themselves to receive aid until they can get on their own feet.  And when they can, they in turn help those with their talents or their abundance when they receive it. 

In the 1982 General Conference it states:

“How can we give if there is nothing there?  Food for the hungry

cannot come from empty shelves.  Money to assist the needy

cannot come from an empty purse.  Support and understanding

cannot come from the emotionally starved.  Teaching cannot come

from the unlearned.  And most important of all, spiritual guidance

cannot come from the spiritually weak. “

 President Uchtdorf said:

                                “Our spiritual progress is inseparably bound together with the temporal

service we give to others.  The one complements the other.  The one

without the other is a counterfeit of God’s plan of happiness. “…

                                “For it is in sacrificing our time, talents, and resources that our spirits

mature and become refined.”

That spiritual refinement that must take place before Zion can be established.  That spiritual refinement that the Celestial law requires.  Where we are one heart and one mind, until there is no poor among us.  That is why we should become spiritually self-reliant.  That is why we should become temporally self-reliant.  So that we can create a Zion society.    

These four aspects  (1)Reliance on the Savior… (2)aligning our Inner Allegiance on him and his spirit…  (3) Choosing the Elements of Freedom…  and (4)laying the foundation to serve, to live the celestial law, and to create Zion.  It is my prayer that we can all work on ourselves and serve each other.  In the name of Jesus Christ.  Amen

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Faith in Fear


My children had been wanting to watch ‘The Rise of the Guardians’ for a long time, and so when we finally got a hold of it, I was pleasantly surprised to find that not only was it an enjoyable storyline, but it seemed to be dripping with profound insights and tidbits of truth.  It’s depiction on the effect of one’s belief was especially powerful to me.  In brief - Jack Frost, Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the tooth fairy, the sand man, and the boogie man were personified symbols of a child’s belief in an abstract concept – fun, wonder, hope, light, dreams, and fear.  What a child believed in is what became real to him. 
When belief was strong, it strengthened or increased the size and abilities of the characters.  Also, some objects of belief affected the strength and abilities of the others.  For instance, believing in the boogie man, weakened the positive effects of hope, joy, etc. of the other characters - sometimes to extinction.  I thought the movie makers did an excellent job at portraying the power of belief. 

I’ve heard it said that Faith is the opposite of Fear.  But now I’m considering that fear may be the object of our faith, our belief.  Just as believing in the boogie man (fear) can diminish or destroy believing in hope, or light, or dreams.  And we can choose to have faith in fear - which debilitates our growth, or faith in something more empowering. 
A friend of mine pointed out the definition of fear she had discovered while browsing through the bible dictionary.

                Fear… something unworthy of a child of God, something that “perfect love casteth out”.  The first effect of Adam’s sin was that he was afraid.  Sin destroys the feeling of confidence God’s child should feel in a loving Father and produces instead a feeling of shame and guilt. 

–Bible Dictionary

That discovery was a powerful insight to me.   ‘Unworthy of a child of God’?  It is below a disciple of Christ to operate in fear?  I guess it makes sense when you think about, but evidently I had never really thought about it before.  

Weren’t we taught that fear is one of the innate emotions that one experiences, the same as feeling happy or sad. Doesn’t the dictionary define fear as a survival mechanism occurring in response to a perceived threat, pain, or evil –you know, the fight of flight response.   I’d never considered it as a choice before.  That makes me think of the preview for the movie ‘Afterearth’. 

In 2 Timothy 1:7 it says, “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind”.  Fear is disempowering; fear is hateful; fear is illogical.  So obviously, fear is not of God.  And what brings about this lack of confidence in God – Sin.  Fear is the byproduct of sin.    

For the past umpteen number of years, I’ve struggled with insecurity.  My comfort zone was in being invisible.  I didn’t feel I had anything of value to offer to anyone outside of my husband and children, so I was stuck in wallpaper status.   I’d been operating in fear.  I don’t consider myself a great sinner but obviously I had put my faith in fear rather than in my Savior – which would have produced the confidence I lacked.   I love thinking about the following quote:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.  We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?  Actually, who are you not to be?  You are a child of God.  Your playing small does not serve the world.  There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you.  We are all meant to shine, as children do.  We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.  It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same.  As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.  

 – Marianne Williamson

That is a beautiful and powerful paragraph.  But still the focus is on the fear of the perceived results, rather than the confidence of desired results.

                                         Where Focus Goes, Energy Flows and That Thing Grows

As I put my energy in hiding myself, protecting myself, or even in allowing others to shine by my playing small, I don’t have the energy to produce the results I really want.  Faith in Fear is self-sabotaging. 

Discussing this concept with my daughter, she pointed out that fear is only concerned with the future tense.  We can only fear things that are a perceived or anticipated result.  If one is truly 100% present, there is no fear. 

So, in my discovery of truth concerning fear, I agree with the makers of 'The Rise of the Guardians'.  What I believe in, becomes real to me - expect it, anticipate it, live it.  And eliminate the fear by not heeding it. 

Monday, June 17, 2013

What's The Difference?


During our math class, we learned the following principle:

          “A number called a Subtrahend can be taken away from another number called a Minuend, and the answer is called the Difference.”
 
Your typical subtraction problem, right.

Well, during a recent conversation, I began to notice a “difference” between my feelings for one relationship and my feelings for another relationship.  Let me try to explain.  I have what some may consider to be pretty high standards.  Evidently there are a lot of people out there who do not share or have as high of standards as I do.  And that’s fine.  To each his own, right.  For the most part, my attitude toward others is indifferent and may come across as self-righteous (I hope not, but I am aware that there is that possibility).  Basically for those who share my standards, I connect with easily, and those who do not, I really don’t interact with or even care to. 
So here I am visiting with this friend that I haven’t talked with in over 20 years (and I probably never would have come in contact again if it hadn’t been for facebook).  And I’m realizing that their life choices, well, really hasn’t changed that much since high school.  Drinking, smoking, swearing, rock music, video games, not really caring about education, jobs, or even national affairs, not really religious in nature, and not necessarily principled driven.  We are probably what you’d consider complete opposites.   And as the conversation continued, I could feel myself repulse with each disclosure that was contrary to comfort zone. 

…But only for a brief moment.  I could sense my discomfort, but then it immediately dissolved into acceptance, generosity, and even great admiration for this individual.  I still really liked this friend and so it didn’t matter at all that their standards and life choices were opposite to my own.  Granted, I really do believe that higher standards, nobler ambitions, and a purpose driven life is the only way to obtain true happiness – and I invite them to consider the benefits of… well…. making life more challenging (now isn’t that inviting).  But my friendship is still secure even if they don’t. 

So as I’m pondering why I felt this way in regard to this friend, and normally feel indifferent toward other individuals of the same caliber, I was curious ‘What is the difference’?  What is the Subtrahend that is deducted from normal associates that isn’t deducted from my friends?

I guess it doesn’t take a genius to discover that ‘love’ is the missing ingredient or the subtrahend.  When ‘love’ is taken out of the equation, there is a difference – indifference, or sometimes even judgment.  It’s made me consider that maybe I’m filled with way more judgment than I thought and much less charity than I had hoped.  

                                  ‘Relationship’ take away ‘love’ equals ‘judgment’. 

Which brought me to the next thought.  Since Heavenly Father is filled with charity, maybe this is how He feels toward all his children.  He is incapable of not loving us, He's our spiritual daddy.  In fact his love is so great that he has dedicated his entire work to helping us be successful and happy.  But when he sees us make wrong choices, or pretend he doesn’t exist, or live way below our potential and privilege – all his disappointment, hurt, and discomfort vanish away because ‘love’ is still part of His equation.  He loves us completely.  He loves us regardless.  He loves us unconditionally.  And yes, He too is hoping that we will choose the more challenging life by keeping his commandments – but only because he knows that will bring us happiness, eternal happiness. He knows we'll be dead a lot longer than we are alive.  He loves us enough to want us to be happy. 

So now I want to change all my subtraction problems (all those strange people I look at in question at Walmart, all those morons who call in on talk radio, all those co-workers who live only for the weekend) to addition problems that includes genuine brotherly ‘love’ in the equation.




 

Saturday, April 20, 2013

Still Small Voice

                                                                                                    by Jane Austen
       A couple of weeks ago I was sick with strep throat.  Swollen tonsils and adenoids not only made it hard to swallow but also made it hard to open my mouth therefore causing my speech to sound impaired and retarded.  My tonsils got so swollen that it became hard to breath and nearly impossible to say anything loudly or clearly.  This came hard to me cause....well, I like to talk (and I speak my mind).  I also love to be heard (mostly by singing lyrics to pop-songs).  Not only was it discouraging but embarrasing too...cause I had  to go to play practice sounding like a retard.
      Talking is something I enjoy doing and not being able to do what I enjoy is bothersome.  Being kept from talking is like keeping something in that needs to be set free.
      After general conference, me still very sick, I somehow asked my mommy to make me some ramen noodles (basically the one food I could still eat).  While she was waiting for it to boil, she went back to the project she was working on. My little brother was on a rampage because he didn't want to do his chores, and I in my sick little retarded voice asked him not to yell, he didn't hear me so I asked again a little louder,  he then yelled even louder only this time at me.  So I picked up a marker and wrote in a notebook
I wonder if this is how the holy ghost feels...
Saying something and then people
don't listen,
don't care
or don't understand
 
     I don't know how he feels but it would drive me crazy.  Talking quietly has always been hard for me, but not being able to talk at all is very humbling. I know the spirit will not speak in a loud booming voice, but silently and quietly whispers. Some people don't listen or don't understand and most of the time don't even hear because of the busy-ness of life
 
I am going to try to listen harder to the still small voice.