A futile Hope

My daughter’s home from her mission.  

Her number one desire for when she got home was to attend the temple again.  And so today we went.  

Image from lds.org

Yes, we had our typical obstacles- feeling sickly and it was probably best to not “share the love”, too tired on a busy day, temple closed, etc.  But today, almost a week since she came home, we made it. 

And it was awesome – just as expected. 

A couple observations.  I was a little surprised at the number (or should I say ‘numberless’) of patrons.  I guess I figured since the other local Temple was closed for reconstruction, and the smallness of the ordinance rooms, and my past experiences attending, that it would be a fairly “packed” session.   Not to mention that with all the troubles in the world today – a prophet of God chose the topic of temple attendance as the most important counsel for the next six months. Click Here to view his address. 

Hopefully it was only a lull in what is regularly full attendance.   

We arrived just after a session had begun and so we had about 45 minutes to wait in the chapel.  I picked up the scriptures and considered what revelation I wanted to receive today.  Deciding on a subject and offering a quick silent prayer, I randomly opened the scriptures and my eyes fell on the following verse.

                And the whole world lieth in sin, and groaneth under darkness and under the bondage of sin.

                And by this you may know they are under the bondage of sin, because they come not unto me. 

                For whoso cometh not unto me is under the bondage of sin.  (D&C 84:49-51)

Mind you, that was not the subject I brought before the Lord in my prayer, but I instantly knew the Lord was talking to me.

This probably requires a little back story.  For the last couple of years, I have been fasting and praying and seeking heavenly intervention in behalf of some loved ones who have chosen another path.  There have been times I felt my faith was in vain as I saw no outward appearance of a change of heart.  Other times, I felt I ought to put my energies into my own personal stewardships instead of hoping against hope that they would turn around.  But more often then not I ended up tagging a desire in my monthly fast, or holding on to hopeful anticipation that somehow they would awaken to the awfulness of their situation.    I wasn’t sure that I could love them more, or love them enough, to make a difference. 

And so when I saw this scripture, the words seemed to jump off the page at me.  The Lord wanted me to know that my friends are under the bondage of sin.  He had heard my prayers and felt my faith in their behalf, but his hands were tied, so to speak, because of their commitment to and bondage of their sins.  I felt certain that if their hearts were less hardened, if they would choose to be more humble or vulnerable or open, they would have already come unto Christ.  It's that darn choice that we fought so hard to preserve that is putting so many into bondage. 

I guess I’ve always known that sooner or later, IF they didn’t repent and return that I would ultimately have to come to terms with their choice.  I still don’t like to think of that because the gospel is one of hope and second chances – and I have to hold on to hope.

But the thought occurred to me.  Could I be truly happy in heaven, knowning that my loved ones weren't able to have the same degree of happiness. Does personal joy really compensate for the lack of joy that others have.  

I looked at those sitting around me and felt sure that I could create genuine relationships with any number of those who had remained faithful.  I was never going to be alone.  I was never going to be without joy.  

I don't know if the Lord is preparing me for that time that I will have to resign to the absoluteness that their choice is going to be honored above my righteous desire in their behalf.  But while they are still alive and while repentence is still an option, I'm not going to give up hoping and praying for them to become the victors.  And you can be certain that I put their names on the prayer roll as I walked out.  

A Dirty Analogy

“For dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.”  (Gen 3:19)

Really???

My total physical existence is . . .  dirt!

Kind of deflates the whole pride factor when you think of it that way, doesn’t it.  But let’s look at it a little closer.  What is dirt exactly? 

I know soil is a combination of sand, clay and organic material.  Sand is tiny, broken down pieces of rock.  Clay is more finely broken down pieces of rock (silt).  And organic material is, well - life gone bad. 

Ahhh  - so dirt is really only a transitional part of the rock cycle.

So now comes the question of what am I going to do with this dirty existence?  I know circumstances have a great bearing on the rock cycle.  Weathering and erosion, heat and pressure – you know, the trials and adversity in life.  Life seems to either break me down (to sediments) or harden me up (to rocks).  I can respond to adversity in the same manner – broken down to humility (or giving up) or hardened up to a firm foundation (or hard-heartedness). 

If I am broken down to humble sediments, I can take the organic material (the greatness of lives past) and a seed and make it grow into a beautiful tree that produces fruit and many more seeds for others to work with.  If I am broken down to failure sediment I will probably produce nothing but briars, thorns, and noxious weeds.    

If I am hardened up to a foundational rock, I would become part of THE rock.  The only sure foundation, which cannot fall to the weathering of adversity.  (Helaman 5:12) If I am hardened up to a hard-hearted stone, I’d most likely get in the way of a good seeds growth (a rocky field), or be used as asphalt to pave the highway to hell.  (For broad is the way that leadeth to destruction)

And so the cycle goes.  Dirt responding or choosing the response to the circumstances life presents itself. 

You might ask, how I came upon this analogy.  That’s where it gets interesting and maybe a little confusing.  It was from pondering this address on Joseph Smith.  Don’t see the connection?  I barely see it myself.  But a few points brought me to it.

(1)    The apostolic promise or prophecy that negative commentary regarding Joseph Smith will increase as we move toward the second coming. NOW is the time to obtain a sure foundation.  To continue the analogy, have Christ as the foundation beneath my soil so that I can produce vegetation – rather than float aimlessly in the air as a pollutant. 

(2)    I was wondering what the advantage is for stony people to speak ill of the prophet Joseph Smith or anyone else for that matter.  They are like hard heartened stones in a field that cause seeds of faith to wither away (compare to the parable of the Sower).   Is there name-calling, logic-proving, or faith-bashing done as a supposed service to the individual or is it a personal vengeance and agenda promotion of some sort to prevent faith from taking root. 

(3)    The question of “Why does the Lord allow the evil speaking to chase after the good?”  I’ve already learned the purposes of trials and understand the necessity of free will, so I don’t have a problem with the whole “Why does God allow” argument.  But it was interesting to see how it applies to our own refiner’s fire in the context of changing dust to rock. 

Just a reminder of how the rock cycle works.  If Christ is the rock and he continues to get pushed down beneath other sandy foundations – that rock will eventually melt due to the pressure and heat.  And then  -  KABOOM.   Explosion, destruction,  

Can't We All Just Get Along?

I think my kids are exceptional.  Really - they inspire me to and by their greatness regularly.  

But by all accounts, I believe they would have to fall into the normal category as far as sibling relationships go.  Commonalities? Yeah.  Being raised in the same home is bound to produce a certain amount of unity.  But the dissonances result in frequent cacophony and chaos. 

For instance

I give my children an assignment, such as pick up the living room.  (Usually this dictate is given after some company unexpectedly showed up at the door, and I’m painfully aware that we failed at the maintain order objective once again.)  Inevitably one of them starts chastening a sibling for their minor contribution to the mess (the whole mote and beam syndrome) or that they haven’t gotten on the task as quickly as they thought they should.  Instant faultfinding and bullying.  Maybe their guilty conscience suddenly kicked in or maybe they have poor coping skills of changing into work mode, but whatever the reason – attacking others seems to be the default. 

image from dailyexcelsior.com

Because I have older children, I have the privilege (finally) of having them watch the younger children while I am away from home.  I’m finding this to be a mixed blessing.  Frequently when I get home, there are tales of contentions and fighting.  As I trace it to its origin, I often find the one in charge demanded obedience from the others, and sometimes at the exclusion of their own involvement (meaning they didn’t have to work – only give orders).  Best described as unrighteous dominion.  This brought about rebellion and bitter feelings.  Surprisingly, this tendency to control others isn’t limited to when I’m gone.  Frequently, I am in the very same room as they are barking orders to their siblings.  In which case, I ask them if I could please be the mom this time.

 

New Era - May 2014

As I consider what might be done to remedy these situations and strive for peace in the home, it occurs to me that these childish behaviors are not limited to childhood.  And the sibling relationships extend to a much bigger family. 

Fault-Finding:  This is so ingrained in our educational system that we don’t even realize that we are stuck looking for what is bad rather than searching for what is good.  Like my children raging over others failings, we don’t want to have our weaknesses pointed out, and so the defense is to find fault with others.  For example I hear that Christians are among the most judging and hypocritical people out there.  The irony of this statement is amusing. 1) that statement is in itself of a condemning nature and 2) it is easy to find fault with someone who is trying to live a higher standard but fails - over someone who isn’t trying at all.  In politics, not only do we witness ridiculous mud-slinging between candidates, but with the differing parties or positions the result is personal attacks on the other party or cause.  Even within the church, we have all kinds of gossip, backbiting, and trips to the bishop’s office to file our complaints about another ward member. 

Unrighteous Dominion:  All of history is filled with someone usurping another person’s power.   Consider the fight to become the head hauncho (corporate ladder climbing, campaigning for leadership, kill the king, etc.).  Or the leader taking advantage of their position and attempting control (Signing executive orders instead of allowing the legislative branch to pass the laws, teachers requiring compliance rather than inviting to learn, even teachers/leaders of righteousness when they have their own unresolved sins).  Consider how disregarding the proper authority because of a superiority attitude (wives disdain for their “stupid” or “inferior” husbands, law breaking because it is a “stupid” law, justifying sin because it is infringing on supposed freedom). 

The list of childish behavior that is happening in society is pretty much endless.  I can just see Heavenly Father shake his head in discouragement much the same as I do when my children fight and quarrel in these manners. 

Strangely enough, I believe the memory of my bullying sister echoed the solution.  Whenever she didn’t like something I was doing her response was – ‘Oh, Grow up’.    

With my own children, I looked forward to the time when they mature and no longer feel they need to resort to such juvenile behavior in dealing with differences.  As I consider that the same behavior is being exhibited in “grown up” adults, maybe more than time and physical development, will be necessary to give them the maturity needed to be bigger than the problem. 

So in my search for solutions, I’ve come up with the following:

1.    Learn to Love

I don’t mean make a study of or practice real hard to love our neighbor.  That is important, but it is lacking the power to make it happen on a permanent basis.  Loving unconditionally, especially someone with whom we are in disagreement, is only possible as gifted from above.  As we look at all the sin and disobedience in the world, and yet still know that our Savior loves each one of us personally enough to die and provide a way for us; that is a mature love worthy of emulation.

Not only is it a commandment to love our neighbor but to also love our enemies.  The ability to do so, is from the same source as the commandment.  In our maturing process, we begin selfishly – loving those who do something for us.  Then our love extends to kindness, manners, or basic civility to those around us.  When we can learn to love others as the Savior loves all, then we have the maturity to interact with differences.  

2.       Discern between

Maybe one of the reasons that Christians are labeled negatively is they may be lacking the ability to discern between.  I know I’ve struggled discerning between condemning my personal weakness/sin and condemning my neighbor’s.  In the effort to put off all ungodliness, it can be challenging to identify the line of my stewardship between another’s. 

I think what has helped me the most, was my husband’s reminder of “they are not under the same covenant”. And if they are, remembering that is between the Lord and them – it has nothing to do with me.   As we learn to discern between by clarifying where that dividing line is, we can feel love for others without feeling like we are sacrificing our covenant.

3.       Assume the Best

There is great power in assumption.  When we can assume that others are doing the best they can with where they are, we can keep our own heart at peace and respond calmly, maturely, and in love.  When we assume they were attacking us maliciously, it puts our own heart at war – thus perpetuating the downward cycle.  I find it is always best to assume the best when someone behaves the worst so as to put a stop to the negative energy.  And then respond according to the golden rule. 

Now remember, it doesn’t say “Do unto others as they have done unto you” (that would be revenge).  Nor does it say “Do unto others as they should have done to you” (don’t should on yourself . . .  – or others).  But “Do unto others, as you would have other’s do unto you”.  (I guess it’s okay to would on yourself).

Wish me luck at teaching these success principles to my children and I’ll continue to pray for the world at large. 

To hear President Dallin H. Oaks address that inspired these reflections click here. 

Proof . . . ? or Truth

I’m a seeker

I don’t know if that’s a recognized profession but it is one of my favorite occupations. 

But there is a problem being a seeker.  As I seek for answers. . . . I usually, eventually, find them.  Unfortunately there are a lot of them.  From all different voices with differing messages.  Each answer claims to be the only correct answer and provides some type of evidence to support its claim. 

And so the sifting process begins.  Considering some, discrediting others, and searching for THE one.  I’m not naïve enough to believe that truth is limited to one source or cannot be multi-faceted, but still looking for the one understanding that brings my heart to peace.   

What is Truth?

So what exactly is truth?  And why are there so many possible sources which claim to own it?

 

It seems complicated but when you think about it – Truth is simply this   -  the mysteries of God. . .  which have become no longer mysterious, but acknowledged and applied. 

Now our understanding of truth is where it gets tricky.  One person may have a portion of truth, and claim theirs is the only way.  And in the respect of what truth they have, they are absolutely correct.  But it may not be the complete or whole truth.  A Christian who believes that Jesus will save them and take them to heaven, may be an absolute truth.  But it may not be the whole truth – or all that is available (such as a telestial heaven rather than all the father has to offer).  A scientist who studies and claims to have identified a secret of the universe (truth) may be dead on.  However, their understanding of truth may be limited to only what can be defined by physical evidence and is missing the spiritual/eternal/purpose aspect altogether – therefore, only half of the equation.  And so it goes with each claim to “hold the truth”

Our understanding of truth is limited to our experience.  What we understand (through our experiences) doesn’t necessarily equate with what really is.  In other words – Perception is not reality.  Take the ancient story of the Blind men and the Elephant for example. 

It was six men of Indostan, to learning much inclined, Who went to see the Elephant (Though all of them were blind), That each by observation might satisfy his mind.

The First approached the Elephant, and happening to fall Against his broad and sturdy side, At once began to bawl: "God bless me! but the Elephant Is very like a WALL!"

Cried, "Ho, what have we here, so very round and smooth and sharp? To me 'tis mighty clear this wonder of an Elephant Is very like a SPEAR!"

The Third approached the animal, and happening to take The squirming trunk within his hands, thus boldly up and spake: "I see," quoth he, "the Elephant is very like a SNAKE!"

The Fourth reached out an eager hand, and felt about the knee "What most this wondrous beast is like is mighty plain," quoth he: ‘Tis clear enough the Elephant is very like a TREE!"

The Fifth, who chanced to touch the ear, said: "E'en the blindest man Can tell what this resembles most; Deny the fact who can, This marvel of an Elephant is very like a FAN!" The Sixth no sooner had begun about the beast to grope, Than seizing on the swinging tail that fell within his scope, "I see," quoth he, "the Elephant is very like a ROPE!" And so these men of Indostan disputed loud and long, Each in his own opinion exceeding stiff and strong, Though each was partly in the right, and all were in the wrong!

The Blind Men

Each of us are like the blind men - groping around trying to define the reality of the elephant (the universe, the plan, the purpose of life, happiness, etc. - AKA truth) by our limited capacity of perception and understanding.   Forgetting that the elephant was created by someone who is on a different plane of understanding - and that we are incapable of understanding in our current state. 

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.“For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:8-9)

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.    In all thine ways acknowledge him, and he shal direct thy paths.  Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the Lord, and depart from evil" (Proverbs 3:5-7)  

Sure, we have aids and evidences. Some believe their leaders or peers or traditions or even their nation have them on the right path. Some believers blindly follow the bible or prophets or local ministers, trusting the 'committee of they’ have already obtained the truth.  Others choose to develop spiritual alzhemiers and instead utilize their own logic and reason, with fierce loyalty to being objective in their search.  But, in all honesty, we are still drawing conclusions based on our limited experiences without understanding the entire picture.

So what hope is there of defining truth at all, if everyone claims to have it, and yet every claim is originated on an assumption (theory or faith) at some point.  Is it even possible to really know what is the truth? 

Proof of Truth

There have been many attempts to provide proof that something is true through evidence, theories, logic, etc, but there is only one source that can PROVE, beyond any doubt, with ultimate authority, the most primary of sources, and cannot be disputed.  That is from the author and origin of our reality. God himself confirms truth through his spirit.

But this confirmation of truth is not easily obtained.  It is not a whole elephant at once solution.  And the requirements to obtain this proof is based on worthiness, diligence, and intent. 

"That which is of God is light; and he that receiveth light, and continueth in God, receiveth more light; and that light groweth brighter and brighter until the perfect day." (D&C 50:24)

Consider the parallels between the Scientific Method and the Spiritual Method.

Scientific Method                                      Spiritual Method

*Ask a question                                          * pray about ……

*Do background research                           *Search scriptures/ponder

*Construct a hypothesis                             *Receive inspiration/impressions

*Test hypothesis by doing an experiment  *Experiment on the word/exercise faith

*Analyze Data and draw a conclusion       *Become converted/born again

*Communicate your results                        *Share testimony/missionary efforts

The process for obtaining enlightenment is the same in almost every problem to solve, and although each process provides evidence and/or solutions (such as the conclusions of the blind men), only one provides the proof of the actual reality.

I think it is safe to say that there is a certain amount of absurdity in using the wrong instrument for a job.  For instance, washing a window with toothpaste won’t create a very transparent visual of what is on the other side.  Likewise, using candlelight to see in a dark room when it is a bright sunny day just on the other side of the door may provide functional sight but the shadows and obstructions prevent perfect illumination.  But yet, many search for spiritual, eternal, universal truths in such a manner.  Seeking understanding while discrediting the spiritual approach simply because they can’t see the entire “elephant” right away (also known as doubts).  But content with the line upon line, here a little and there a little approach through science, or trial and error. 

I’m gonna have to say I don’t understand this “logic”.   

Sure, faith doesn't have all the answers - Uhmmm . . . it couldn't be called faith if it did.  But it is the only sure way of obtaining all the answers or discovering the proof of truth.  

To refer to President Uchtorf's address, click here.

Drawing the Line

Based on this address by Elder Christofferson

Over the last couple of years, I’ve had the opportunity to interact with some pretty diverse beliefs. Everything from fatalistic atheists to exploring pagan to devout Christians to neglectful apostates and many others in between.   

And it has been fascinating! 

In my search for truth, I look at each of these beliefs for parallels and consistent themes as well as the variants that wander from the unified elements.  Did I mention this has been fascinating. 

What it seems to come down to is differences as to where one draws the line.  The line where one adopts certain points and questions others.  The line where one takes responsibility for their own choices and blames (or gives) to others.  The line where one supports an idea but the response is . . .  shall I say . . . different.  And sometimes inconsistent (That’s a polite way of saying twisted).  This line is what provides such a variety of ideas in the Great Debate. 

It is a very defining line. 

Recently, an apostate LDS turned “Christian” was campaigning to “save the misguided mormons”.  As I looked at what they left for what they adopted, I realized the line made life much more convenient for them.  I wonder how many mormons have falsely understood the line of grace - confused which part is mine and which part is yours.  (Refer also to Brad Wilcox talk on "Grace is Sufficient".  It is awesome!)  If responsibility lies only on Jesus, then the objective (in this case – salvation) becomes so much easier.  I have to wonder how much of belief or drawing the line is based on convenience. 

It certainly is more convenient to say there is no God at all when one is confused and can’t understand something or feels they’ve been dealt with unjustly.  It certainly is more convenient to worship things that can be seen and felt and touched rather than operate on faith that the unseen hand of Deity is somehow involved.  It certainly is more convenient to play and focus on the fun in life rather than dedicate oneself to a life of purpose and covenant. 

Interestingly, one side of this line holds on to points that can’t or won't be sacrificed – such as being humane, or faithful to spouse, or their Savior, or . . .  whatever is hardwired in the individual's make-up as true. 

But there are dangers in this line drawing.  If one plays the blame game (where others - government -  God - or - ‘Jesus’ is responsible for our situation) the result is disempowerment in our choices and if the line is wrong, justice still must be served somehow. 

If one picks and chooses their moral compass as they would choose what to put on their plate at a buffet table, it doesn’t somehow mean the other dishes didn’t exist, nor does it mean they are not responsible to eat nutrient dense truths along with the dessert truths.  That may be a poor analogy but you get the idea.

If one has a foundational truth, but over prioritizes and/or omits others, that doesn’t make the other truths null and void. 

One thing is certain.  The line is extremely important.  There are true truth.  There are absolutes.  Drawing a line that doesn’t include a belief in gravity, doesn’t prevent one from falling down to the earth.  Drawing a line that doesn’t include a belief in justice, doesn’t prevent justice being served.  And drawing a line that doesn’t include a belief in walking by faith, doesn’t prevent the necessity of it. 

Conversely, there are also absolute lies and deceptions. And so a line has to be drawn somewhere.

So while drawing your line in the sand, it is extremely important to search out and be as consistent as possible with the genuine line between truth and error.  

The Power of Unity

I feel Alone.

I understand that I’m not alone, but there are times that I feel alone and completely powerless.  What can be done?  Others have their agency and are free to act for themselves and if I didn’t care about them or their welfare, there would be no problem. 

Fortunately, I do care.  But it does bring feelings of temporary hopelessness, powerlessness, and isolation. 

I think that is why this address by Elder Wong of the Seventy has been so hard for me to digest. 

It speaks to my heart’s desire, but is a painful reminder that I currently don’t have the resources that he suggests as a solution.  

I get that I do have powerful resources.  The most powerful resources – legions of angels and a loving Savior and Heavenly Father who are rooting for my and their success.  I have abundant desire and faith that the rescue is possible.  I have promises that my prayers are heard and will be answered in my best interest.  I have ample evidence and tender mercies that the above power is working in my life.  I have a loving husband and family who support me in my desire and efforts.  I have the power of fasting, personal prayer, righteous living, and the temple’s prayer circle.  I have HOPE.  I know I am not alone. 

But I don’t have a bishop, a missionary, a relief society president, an elder’s quorum president, or an Aaronic priesthood youth who are interacting in the lives of my distant friends.  Becoming friends, sharing their influence, and bringing goodness into their life.  At least not to my knowledge.  And so now I am wondering if my influence or faith or desire. . . is enough.  Elder Wong said that Unity is essential in the rescuing effort. 

I long for unity.  Especially since we live in a divided nation.  As I study the scriptures and see the need for unity in developing a Zion people, I struggle with the disconnect in everyday living.   

The City of Enoch was so united that they were translated.  The Nephites (without the -ites) were united and experienced peace for over 200 years.  And with the knowledge that, that kind of unity is necessary in order to live the celestial law, I can’t help but wonder how to bring it about.  My life’s mission is to provide a baby step in that direction. 

I’ve experienced to a small degree the power of unity in my own life.  All my life, I’ve said personal prayers and have been blessed by so doing.  But when my husband and I started holding evening couple prayers – and not just saying a prayer but really pouring out our heart’s desire and confessing our sins and seeking the Lord’s power in our lives, the prayer was different.  I could feel the Lord’s sanction of our unity and my abilities had increased as well as my desires.  We have had an increase in our love for one another and an increase of love for the Savior.  As well as an alignment of goals and communication.  Yes – Unity is powerful.

I’m not sure where to go from here, in order to COUNSEL TOGETHER of those with whom I desire to rescue from ignorance, addictions, false traditions, deceptions, and distractions.  But I reinforced my desire to be united in that effort.  And if I pray about that desire, I know the Lord will provide a solution somehow. . . . . .  someday.  

The Ponder Point

Every year for Christmas my children receive the gifts of the wisemen.  One gift represents the Gold – something to delight them, another the gift Frankinsense – something practical or useful, and one is the gift of Myrrh – something of deep meaning.  That one gift of meaning usually indicates a huge amount of time investment on my part- because sadly I’m not a very craftsy person. 

One year, I made little Sacrament Covenant Booklets, with the intent of helping the focus be on the Savior and the covenant renewed each week.  I don’t know that the gift was a great success.  If I recall, I didn’t even finish making them before the 25^th deadline arrived. (And I had every intention of completing the task in the down time between Christmas and New Year’s.    Aye, It didna happen.)

Alright, so it wasn’t a fabulous idea to make nine individualized, scrapbook style mini-books, but I do know that I developed a much deeper appreciation for the nature and purpose of the Sacrament that year.  And for many months to come.  Since I had put so much of my blood, sweat, and time into the project, I made sure to utilize it myself.

This address on the Sacrament was a wake up call that I have slipped back into habitual partaking of the emblems without accessing the power therein.  

I believe I found the point.  The point that makes the difference.  Habitually going through the motions of once a week taking the sacrament is good, but to receive the cleansing, healing, renewing, and deeply spiritual experience, there has to be something more.  That something is PONDERING. 

I’m as guilty as the next person at having my preparations for this sacred weekly ordinance consist of gathering all the family at church (since we’re all there anyway, right) and try to keep the littles quiet so as to not disrupt others.  Oh, and maybe I’ll have a 2 second visual of the Savior pass through my mind as I covenant to remember him always.  Pretty pathetic, I know, but unfortunately it has become the norm. 

But I have had times where the preparation was much richer and much, much more rewarding.

Like when I took time on a Saturday evening, or even during the sacrament itself, to reflect on the previous week.   Considering my thoughts, my words and my deeds.  Considering my effectiveness at keeping the commandments completely.  Considering whether I really exercised faith or simply touted my beliefs.   Considering the questions that plague my mind, or problems I haven’t found solutions to, or challenges I haven’t overcome yet.  Considering the aspects of my life where the atonement has already given me the enabling power to do more than I could on my own. 

That’s a lot of things to consider, especially if we are totally honest with ourselves.  In my little Sacrament booklet, I included a long list of questions to really help me to analyze where I stood.  Gut wrenching questions that if answered honestly, I always find a long list of sins that I hadn’t realized I was guilty of prior. 

The pondering point continues.  Listen intently on the sacramental prayer and review the aspects of the baptismal covenant outlined in Mosiah 18:8-13.  Such things as my desire, my willingness, my commitment, my witness as well as God’s promises.  Think on the symbolism of the sacrament, and remember.  Remembering is the key to spiritual growth and so vitally important to the purpose of the sacrament and our standing firm in our end of the covenant. 

In 1 Corinthians 11: 28-29 it states:

                “But let a man EXAMINE himself, and so let him eat of that bread, and drink of that cup.

                “For he that eateth and drinketh unworthily, eateth and drinketh damnation to himself, not discerning the Lord’s body.”

I’d never realized before that I had been only doing half of the ordinance.  If there is no examination of self, no reflecting on my progress, no introspection as part of the process, no pondering - than not only am I not receiving the full benefit of the sacrament, but I’m cutting my own throat by doing it unworthily. 

That ordinance itself takes, what, about 5 to 10 minutes each week.  That’s not a huge amount of time to examine oneself.  But apparently, the Lord feels it is enough.  Enough that if we ponder, seek forgiveness and inspiration, and recommit; that we can access the power of the atonement to clean our slate and start fresh. 

If I can just do the 3 R’s:

(1) REMEMBER

(2) REPENT

(3) RENEW

Then I feel that I have worthily accepted the Lord’s invitation to be healed, to be forgiven, to grow spiritually.

An About Face

I’ve been there.

I was carrying on a conversation, minding my own business (or so I thought), when all of a sudden, someone got right in my face.  My comments were challenged, my points were mocked and belittled, and I was even threatened to take it back or . . .  - and before I realized what was happening, I was shamed and cowered into a corner. 

My choices seemed limited at the time.  And unfortunately, I played the game – becoming super insecure and reverting into myself. 

I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was being bullied.  Pressured into doing, or saying, or thinking, or being something that wouldn’t have been my choice if I didn’t have that shaming influence. 

So when I listened to this address from Elder Robbins, I couldn’t help but grab the air and yank my elbow in.  Yeeeeessssss!!!!!

BAM!  He wasn’t sending artillery to the bully, but arming the bullied. 

The 1st weapon: Establish the “WHY”

If we are in this world to stand on our own premise, then by all means, go with whatever whim and philosophy that comes your way.  But if we are consecrated and dedicated disciples of Christ, as we covenanted to be – the decision is already made. 

I like to think of it as a self-elected representative.  What other government could an individual nominate themselves, cast all the deciding votes, and be their own check on abuses of power.   That’s what agency (free will) is.  Our own self-governing nation.  I voted myself to be a representative of the Savior.  And as His disciple, I represent Him to the people.  NOT the people to the Savior. 

I want to adopt the mantra “I do ALWAYS those things that please the father” as my ‘WHY’. 

The 2nd weapon: Recognize the game

Usually attacks occur because the ‘guilty taketh the truth to be hard

Because there are only two options on who we represent (Savior or Satan), it would be helpful to recognize the strategies used by the opposing team. 

1.        Mocking – It’s sad to realize that mocking, scorn, ridicule, fear, belittling, etc. are usually more effective, than love, acceptance, forgiveness, patience . . .   The other team uses peer pressure as a motivation. (See, I knew high school was Satan’s playground - JK)

2.       Twisting – Making evil look good and good look evil.  That’s a fairly easy strategy to identify. But when he warps or imitates our own strategies, such as love of men before love of God (inversion of priorities) or utilizing guilt to have us turn away from the right (guilt is used to turn us away from sin), it gets a little more fuzzy on which side we really are on. 

It’s kinda funny when you think about it.  The guilty are the ones spreading the guilt.  Bullies try to make one feel guilty for giving offense in regards to their choice - and the only suggestion they offer to relieve that guilt is to give offense to the Savior instead.  ‘Join the bandwagon of sinners in order to relieve your guilt of shaming me.’ Does oxymoronic carry any weight here? 

3.       Legislation – Yep, make it a law . . .  or at least petition for lower standards.  I wonder how many things I would have wrongly supported if I hadn’t learned about the proper role of government.  Satan loves to legislate his ideas into legality.  Almost any law will pass as long as it is “for the children” or “for the underdog” no matter how immoral or counterproductive it is.  The needs of the few become more important than the needs of the many or the needs of the right.  And before you know it, we’ve legislated our way into an apostasized nation. 

The 3rd Weapon:  Be Inspired!

Greatness is inspiring.  Look to the greats.  There are so many accounts of men and women throughout the ages who have stood up to the bullies they faced.  The scriptures are chock full of them.  And as you learn about, be inspired by, and begin to emulate these greats, it is amazing how empowered you become. 

Yes.  It takes courage to stand up to the bully.  And even more importantly, it takes character to stand up to the bully graciously.  But courage is the only antidote for the fear of men.  The strength of an individual - or the strength of a nation – is only in proportion to the unbending on matters of principle. 

Can it be done without giving offense?  Probably not.  It is hard to please God while not giving offense to Satan.  But it really doesn’t matter what the end result is as long as the defense (or representation) – is done IN LOVE.    

When one makes an about face, they turn or change the direction that they were facing.  And like so many of the Savior's teaching, his ways are a change from the direction the natural man is facing.  

So the next time a bully is IN YOUR FACE and you feel that you have to LOSE FACE in order to SAVE FACE, understand that is being TWO-FACED about the obstacle you FACE, and so instead, make an ABOUT FACE. 

The Individual Element

The human body.

It is fascinating on so many levels.  Each body is made up of components called organs, which are made up of components called cells, which are made up of components called organelles, which are made up of components called atoms, which are made up of components called atomic particles, which are made up of components called quarks, which are made up of components called. . . . .  and so it goes.

Each component can be broken down to smaller and smaller parts.  Each part is necessary to perform the design of that component.

Conversely, the human body can also be a component of a larger function.  For instance, a person is part of a family, which is part of a community, which is part of a nation, which is part of the world, which is part of the solar system, which is part of . . . .

Bigger and bigger. Never ending.

These thoughts crossed my mind while pondering the talk by President Boyd K. Packer.

He mentions that each member of this church is a critical element in the body of Christ.  I’m pretty sure this is a symbolic reference rather than a physical adaptation.  So along those lines, each person is a part of the family. . . ., the community. . . . , the nation. . . . ., etc… of Christ’s kingdom.  But not only that, it is the testimony of Jesus Christ, or the spiritual strength, of each member that defines His success. 

Tangent here.  I vaguely remember watching the modern version of Clash of the Titans.  It was a little challenging to stomach with the amount of artistic license that was taken.  But one of the concepts was that the Greek god’s strength was only in proportion to the belief of their followers.  And when everyone stopped believing . . .  then the “god” was completely powerless. 

I wouldn’t be surprised if Satan (or his followers) truly believe this about Heavenly Father.  The campaign to stop believing in God is strong and having great success.  I find both truth and a great error in this philosophy.  It is true that God’s glory is defined by those who worship him, and He will be successful only by us choosing to follow his plan.  But the error lies in assuming that he will be without power if we stop believing.  The only one who is without power is the one who stops believing.  Or have we forgotten the lesson of Noah.  Everyone on the earth stopped believing to the point that there was no good in them at all – so God (still very much in power, but very saddened by the lack of belief) wiped out all human existence . . .  save one little preserved ark.

So when I say the success of Christ’s kingdom is pending the spiritual strength of its members - don’t equate power with success. 

President Packer continues with the reference to the war we are engaged in against the adversary.  Stating that each and every member of the church, with a spiritually strong testimony, is necessary to win against Satan.  In other words, the people have to be united and the caliber of Captain Moroni in order for Satan to be bound. 

Again, Satan is bound already to Heavenly Father.  He is subject to obey God’s every command.  The only reason he has been allowed any power is because it provides the opposition necessary for His plan and our progress.  But Satan is not bound to me and he’s not bound to you, at least not yet.  The only way which he will be bound in this life, is if we unite ourselves and fortify our testimonies of Christ.  (Again a reference to Captain Moroni – fortifying cities against the enemy)

This earthly sojourn is our boot camp and battlefield all rolled up into one.  We are in enemy territory receiving our battle training line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little, there a little – with each critical choice we either put on armament or remove it. 

And each warrior's preparedness makes or breaks the strength of the army. 

Continuing the body analogy, if a cell (say an individual) mutates or becomes cancerous (apostates) and it starts to break down the cells surrounding them, it will eventually affect the whole system adversely.  If a cell is “luke warm” so to speak, it could be considered a fat cell (spectator members), not part of the powerhouse of the body but sits there in storage to possibly be used some day.  If a cell is actively doing its part (participating member) – magnifying its callings, applying the Sunday school answers, exercising faith – it is a healthy and productive element of the system.  Fulfilling the measure of their creation.  And when other good cells combine, it makes for a healthy organ (wards/stakes/regions/areas) and a healthy and successful body.

I’m a believer in the power of One.  I’ve seen its effect in both directions. 

The decisions an ancestor made has affected generations. The ripple effect (or the butterfly effect) truly reaches out beyond our own little circle.   Consider the influence of one person in the movie "It's a Wonderful Life".  One person can make all the difference in the lives of so many people.  

Yes, I believe in the power of One.  

So what can one person do to make a positive difference in His Kingdom.  That's simple.  Find your purpose and accomplish it.  Seek revelation and fulfill the measure of your creation.  And when we do that, and unify with others doing the same thing, the individual element becomes a legion of warriors. 

Seeking inspiration

Over the last couple of years, I’ve been writing occasionally, as power thoughts came to me.  A couple of friends on facebook would make a simple comment which for some reason would stick with me and I’d ponder on it for a length of time until I blogged what was occupying my thoughts.  There were times that I had more power thoughts than time to write about.  Lately, however, I’ve been having the desire to write (because I get so much insight from my own writing) but haven’t been able to identify anything that speaks or weighs on my mind at present.  I guess you can say I am without inspiration. 

So with my desire to continue my search for truth, I’m adapting my blogging to a different source of inspiration.  Maybe those power thoughts came so easily because they were gifted to me but now it’s time to stretch myself a little more by seeking them out.  I’m hoping to study each of the general conference addresses and ponder the message that I receive from it, enough to write about it.

   

The first address is not rich in doctrine or heavy with direction.  I guess it could be compared to the ‘State of the Union’ address given by the president of the nation.  Instead this is the ‘State of the kingdom’ given by the prophet of God. 

I find it significant that his welcome begins by relating the purpose for this world wide gathering –

Why would we gather?

It isn’t because we are all on the same bandwagon or political ideal, a bunch of fringees who like to hear someone speak in our language and our own ideas.  It’s not any type of sales presentation where they are selling an idea, concept, or product.  It’s not really a duty to listen to those that preside over us, such as the royal decrees from a king or military instructions, or even our elected officials.  It’s not like a seminar or convention where you go to the class of your own picking and choose from the ideas presented on how you might try to improve your life. 

It is a gathering of the saints (those who have covenanted with their father) from all over the world (all of his children) to listen and learn (those that have ears, let them hearken and heed) to those whom we sustain (promise to support and follow their counsel) and receive the inspiration they’ve been given for us (revealed messages specifically for this time and this people). 

What a glorious purpose!  

Then there is the summary aspect of the kingdom.  Brief but encouraging.

The prophet takes the time to express gratitude for the progress and privileges granted us in this time.  From the beginnings when conference could no longer reach all its members and how that has changed with the advanced technologies of radio, television, cable, satellite, internet, and now personal devices.  We truly are blessed to have everything available instantly.  When you consider that King Benjamin’s tower and hand written transcripts were remarkable solutions for the masses that could not hear him, to the availability of God’s word through the prophet, today – it is difficult to not feel gratitude.  And of course, our prophet is leading the way in how to observe and express that appreciation.

Not only do we have access to the prophet’s voice, he points us to the temple.  Temple dedications, rededications, and construction progress keep the vision of where we are to look and stand.  With 170 temples in (near) operation, I can see the foundation being laid for the work that we are to engage in. 

In keeping with the growth of technology and temples, the membership of the church continues to increase as the stone cut out of the mountain rolls forth.  15 million really isn’t much when compared to the billions of people on the earth, but when compared to the 6 members that the church began with only less than 200 years ago, it is quite impressive.  I wonder how that growth compares with Christianity as a whole or any of the other world religions. 

I’m trying to remember a statistic, but I may be waaaaay off.  I believe back in 1999, there were only about 15,000 missionaries.  I recall being friends with someone who was interested in comparing Mormons against Christians.  They were impressed with the number of youth who volunteered to serve.  Now the missionaries are over 88,000, my daughter being one of them, and another daughter in preparation.  I can see how the Lord is in earnest, sifting out those who hear from those who choose to be deaf. 

The major counsel given during this address is the invitation to pay attention.  Like a mother or teacher encouraging a child to pay attention so that we won’t miss something that will be of value to us later.  Some important skill or knowledge will be available, if we but choose to catch it.  He closes his remarks with the desire that our hearts will be touched and our faith increased.  It is my hope that in pondering, evaluating, and blogging about conference, that his desire will come to fruition.