This is part of a series on preparing to educate at home.
My husband and I went on a little adventurous camping
trip. Before leaving, we had chosen a
camping site by a lake and he thought he understood how to get there. Unfortunately, we neglected to bring the map
with us. We drove around dirt roads and
campsites for hours. Some of the roads
were quite rough with big sharp rocks that had us questioning the condition of
the underside of our car. Other roads
went on and on, up a mountain, or through a gulch. We never found a lake and ended up camping at
some obscure site that was overrun with four wheelers. It was alright but not what we had hoped
for.
A number of years ago my father-in-law passed away. At that
time I learned that he was a navigator for the Navy during the Korean War. It was his job to give directions to the
pilot so they could reach their destinations and accomplish their
missions. If these aircraft were to fly
around, aimlessly looking for a good place to drop a bomb, chances would be
very unlikely that they would win any war.
But instead they had a very specific objective, and utilized
navigational tools such as a map and compass, as well as the skills and
equipment such as trained officers and aircraft, to accomplish their objective.
Our
families can be similar to these scenarios.
Politics, schools, society, peers, advertisements, etc. all are guided
by their own self-interest as they solicit you or your children’s
allegiance. If we are not engaged in the
war of our own objective, or actively following the trail of our own choosing,
the end result could easily turn out to be something very different than
desired.
Objective
Before one can navigate through the obstacles and
distractions, a specific objective should be defined. Do I want to camp by the lake… or on some
dusty trail at the base of a mountain. The
old adage of ‘Begin with the End in Mind’ is an essential step to reaching an
objective. There are multiple ways of
defining this but here are two suggestions.
1) Choose the desired
end result. Maybe identify a family that
you admire and have that be the goal you’re striving to accomplish. Observe them
and pinpoint what they have or do, that you want. Do they have strong unified ties or are they distant
and doing their own thing. Do they have
typical teenagers or mature young adults?
What is the family culture? What accomplishments have been made? What traditions, lifestyle, interests,
connections, etc… exist. What legacy is
being passed on to the next generation. Clarify
in as much detail as possible what you want your family to become.
2) Pick a point of time in the future (5, 10, or 20 years
from now) and visualize what your family looks like. Spend
some quality time FEELING your family vision.
Include sights, smells, touch, tastes, sounds, and most importantly
feelings, emotions, tone, atmosphere, spirit of the home, etc. Focus on what you want and spend time
visualizing it in its completed state.
Ultimately, the desired end result is the celestial kingdom – which
with its entrance requirements, defines quite a bit of the steps necessary. Visualize living in heaven with your
family. Feel the harmony, peace, love,
and gratitude for having accomplished and overcome the trials of earth life. Begin with the End until the End is a new
beginning.
M.A.P.
Navigators use maps to see the details in how to accomplish
the objective. What rough terrain or
high altitudes may need to be traversed in the hopeful journey. In
our families, the map is the Master Actualization Plan. This is a collection
of the goals, plans, and systems in order to obtain the objective. My M.A.P. begins with our Family Constitution.
This includes our family mission statement, the governing bodies along with
their roles and responsibilities, our family standards, discipline, training,
traditions, and goals.
I like the three areas of the TJEd Continuum as defined by
Diann Jeppsen. The ‘Relationship’ is the
all-encompassing circle which binds the ‘Inspiring Environment’ and the ‘The
Art of Responding’. I use this continuum to categorize our M.A.P.
Relationships:
In this section - relationships with God, Spouse, children,
siblings, and extended family are defined and how we strengthen them. This includes our daily devotional plans, our
weekly FHE (family home evening), FEC (Family Executive Council), SPICEE (planning
interviews), Sabbath (church attendance), and ‘Circle the Wagons’ (family
Council) meetings. It includes schedules
for teaching the gospel, ideas for Service projects, ideas for parent/child
dates, ideas for places to go and family activities. It includes extended
family birthdays and contact information+.
Inspiring
Environment:
In this section – inspiration and order go hand in
hand. The family library lists and
encourages mastery of our favorite ‘best books’, our collection of art, movies
and music, our journals, family history, and knowledge notebooks. It includes a copy of each child’s big list
of what they want to learn and do, the family timeline, and the annual, weekly,
and daily orders (plans), along with chore rotation system. It includes our family apprenticeship which
is a program of learning adult skills.
The
Art of Responding:
In
this section – responding to the needs of the children at the stages they are
in. It includes fun activities to connect
with small children, fun academic ideas for those who are beginning that
journey. It outlines my favorite
academic programs, games, and curriculum; the organizational programs (and
accomplishments) I want my children to participate in; and the adult skills and
experiences I want mastery in before leaving the home. It defines our family culture and the cultural
depth and breadth I want to cover in their learning. It includes our preparedness plans: home
production and storage, financial management, health, social, emotional and
spiritual preparations.
Compass
The compass is an instrument used to monitor whether our
journey is in alignment with the flight plan.
It indicates when course corrections are needed and i+s the tool used to
close the gap between the plan and reality. The children’s individual compass is developed
through a SPICEE mtg. and revised two to three times a year. A SPICEE mtg. is an interview with the
children to discuss their Spiritual,
Prosperity, Inspiration, Culture, Energy, and Entertainment progress. We
identify their strengths, areas that need to be strengthened, and their current
objectives for the next 4 - 6 months, as well as their modified personal
mission statement. It takes the long
range goal of family vision and M.A.P. into smaller bite sized short range
goals – bridging the gap between the plan and application.
Skills
and Training
If an officer were to embark on their mission without
adequate training or lacking in skills, it would be a wasted journey and highly
ineffective. Our Family Apprenticeship
is the guidelines we use to make sure our children are prepared for adult
life. It covers all areas of life. Spiritual skills might include effective
prayer, searching the scriptures, service, obedience, sacrifice, seeking family
history, testifying, pondering, and yielding to the spirit. Temporal skills might be time and money management,
entrepreneurial, organizational, citizenship, child care, cooking, cleaning, repairing,
shopping, & transportation skills. Physical
skills might be medical, athletic, outdoor, hygiene, nutrition, & emergency
preparedness. Social skills might
include etiquette, communication, +entertainment, relationship building
(friend, dating, spouse, parent, family member), and character building
skills. Cultural skills might be musical, artistic,
acting, dancing, constructing, and practical arts such as printing, mechanics,
carpentry, plumbing, electrical, craftsmanship, or interior decorating. Educational Skills might include Mathematical
principles and theories, literary applications, journalistic, written
mechanics, speech, geographical, and cultural literacy.
Equipment
The car was our equipment for the goal of going camping,
just as the aircraft was the equipment used for dropping bombs. In the family, the obvious physical equipment
would be a home. Not
just a house. The home is the haven from the rest of the
world, where peace and acceptance and love can always be felt. Where the soul can refuel and recharge. Having that haven, a safe place, while
navigating the growing up years, is essential for the stability and safety of
the journey. The home has a spirit, or
feeling, about it. It can have a good
spirit even in chaotic conditions or circumstances. The equipment of a home is not the same
equipment of a school building, a job, or societal pressures and norms. The home, if used to strengthen and transport
the family, creates very different results than the other types of equipment –
just as an automobile is much more effective transportation for a camping trip
than an airplane or a train.
Other essential tools for navigating the family is the
guidance of our Heavenly Father. Through
the scriptures, the living prophets, and impressions through the Holy Ghost, we
can navigate through the distractions and obstacles that lie in our path. -
