My daughter’s home from her mission.
Her number one desire for when she got home was to attend
the temple again. And so today we
went.
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| Image from lds.org |
Yes, we had our typical obstacles-
feeling sickly and it was probably best to not “share the love”, too tired on a
busy day, temple closed, etc. But today,
almost a week since she came home, we made it.
And it was awesome – just as expected.
A couple
observations. I was a little surprised
at the number (or should I say ‘numberless’) of patrons. I guess I figured since the other local
Temple was closed for reconstruction, and the smallness of the ordinance rooms,
and my past experiences attending, that it would be a fairly “packed”
session. Not to mention that with all the troubles in
the world today – a prophet of God chose the topic of temple attendance as the
most important counsel for the next six months. Click Here to view his address.
Hopefully it was only a lull in what is regularly full attendance.
We arrived just after a session had begun and so we had
about 45 minutes to wait in the chapel. I picked up the scriptures and considered what
revelation I wanted to receive today.
Deciding on a subject and offering a quick silent prayer, I randomly opened the scriptures and my eyes fell
on the following verse.
And the whole world lieth in sin, and groaneth under darkness and under the bondage of sin.
And by this you may know they are under the bondage of sin, because they come not unto me.
For whoso cometh not unto me is under the bondage of sin. (D&C 84:49-51)
Mind you, that was not the subject I brought before the Lord
in my prayer, but I instantly knew the Lord was talking to me.
This probably requires a little back story. For the last couple of years, I have been fasting and
praying and seeking heavenly intervention in behalf of some loved ones who have
chosen another path. There have been
times I felt my faith was in vain as I saw no outward appearance of a change of
heart. Other times, I felt I ought to
put my energies into my own personal stewardships instead of hoping against
hope that they would turn around. But more often then not I ended up tagging a desire in my monthly fast, or holding on to hopeful
anticipation that somehow they would awaken to the awfulness of their situation. I
wasn’t sure that I could love them more, or love them enough, to make a
difference.
And so when I saw this scripture, the words seemed to jump off the page at me. The Lord wanted
me to know that my friends are under the bondage of sin. He had heard my prayers and felt my faith in
their behalf, but his hands were tied, so to speak, because of their commitment
to and bondage of their sins. I felt
certain that if their hearts were less hardened, if they would choose to be more humble or vulnerable or open, they would have already come
unto Christ. It's that darn choice that we fought so hard to preserve that is putting so many into bondage.
I guess I’ve always known that sooner or later, IF they didn’t
repent and return that I would ultimately have to come to terms with their
choice. I still don’t like to think of
that because the gospel is one of hope and second chances – and I have to hold
on to hope.
But the thought occurred to me. Could I be truly happy in heaven, knowning that my loved ones weren't able to have the same degree of happiness. Does personal joy really compensate for the lack of joy that others have.
I looked at those sitting around me and felt sure that I could create genuine relationships with any number of those who had remained faithful. I was never going to be alone. I was never going to be without joy.
I don't know if the Lord is preparing me for that time that I will have to resign to the absoluteness that their choice is going to be honored above my righteous desire in their behalf. But while they are still alive and while repentence is still an option, I'm not going to give up hoping and praying for them to become the victors. And you can be certain that I put their names on the prayer roll as I walked out.
