A couple of weeks ago I was sick with strep throat. Swollen tonsils and adenoids not only made it hard to swallow but also made it hard to open my mouth therefore causing my speech to sound impaired and retarded. My tonsils got so swollen that it became hard to breath and nearly impossible to say anything loudly or clearly. This came hard to me cause....well, I like to talk (and I speak my mind). I also love to be heard (mostly by singing lyrics to pop-songs). Not only was it discouraging but embarrasing too...cause I had to go to play practice sounding like a retard.
Talking is something I enjoy doing and not being able to do what I enjoy is bothersome. Being kept from talking is like keeping something in that needs to be set free.
After general conference, me still very sick, I somehow asked my mommy to make me some ramen noodles (basically the one food I could still eat). While she was waiting for it to boil, she went back to the project she was working on. My little brother was on a rampage because he didn't want to do his chores, and I in my sick little retarded voice asked him not to yell, he didn't hear me so I asked again a little louder, he then yelled even louder only this time at me. So I picked up a marker and wrote in a notebook
I wonder if this is how the holy ghost feels...
Saying something and then people
don't listen,
don't care
or don't understand
I don't know how he feels but it would drive me crazy. Talking quietly has always been hard for me, but not being able to talk at all is very humbling. I know the spirit will not speak in a loud booming voice, but silently and quietly whispers. Some people don't listen or don't understand and most of the time don't even hear because of the busy-ness of life
I am going to try to listen harder to the still small voice.
