Simply Complex

As I’m sitting here contemplating which of my insights I want to write a power paper on this time, my children are in the other room fighting with each other.  Amidst all the screaming, hitting, boobing, and irrational behavior – I am experiencing pain.  I’m pretty sure they are also. 

This makes me think about a discussion a friend and I had about a phrase she ran across a number of years ago.  She didn’t understand what it meant but had kept it in the back of her mind and occasionally thought about it.  Here it is:

“I don’t give a hoot about the simplicity on this side of complexity

But I’d give my right arm for the simplicity on the other side of complexity.”

As she tried to wrap her mind around some possible meanings, she came to the conclusion that complexity can be a synonym for trials, adversity, challenges, pain, pressures, stresses, etc.  And knowing something prior to experiencing it, is not as valuable or as meaningful as knowing something after going through the process of obtaining that knowledge first-hand. 

 

The Refiner's Fire



Some parallels that I see through the physical world might be:

Simplicity                                           Complexity                                                    Simplicity

Metals                                                Refiner’s Fire                                                Purity, Strength

Batter                                                 baker’s furnace                                            Cake

Money Management                        Insufficient funds - desperation                  Money Stewardship

In relationships:

Simplicity                                            Complexity                                                  Simplicity

Sympathy                                            Experience                                                  Empathy

Professed faith                                   Challenge                                                    Obtained knowledge

Appearances of Peace – Façade        Change of Heart                                         Genuine Peace –Charity

And in the BIG PICTURE:

Simplicity                                             Complexity                                               Simplicity

Pre-existence                                       Earth life                                                  Judgement & Eternity

Even though the material or knowledge may be the same on both sides of Complexity - The Complexity changes the end product, removes impurities or puts it through the test. 

It’d be nice to think that avoiding the complexity could be a possibility – and in some cases, it is.  Such as, one can avoid the higher risk of lung cancer by choosing not to smoke.  But in most cases, avoiding the challenge not only forfeits growth, it also is a sure recipe for experiencing that trial again at a later time, probably in a different form, but the lesson that must be learned is the same.  It’s as if we have certain lessons that must be learned and some of them cannot be learned in any other method than hands on.  Life’s lessons don’t seem to be as simple as the pain of learning in a classroom.  They usually are character building, such as patience (my least favorite), trust, faith, wisdom, and humility. 

My natural instinct is to avoid pain – at all costs, but the very avoiding of pain causes prolonged pain.  As we resist the pain of the complexity, we may get a brief breather, but the process is bound to come again, more intense and more determined to make us learn and grow.  My children are the perfect example.  Some failed approaches to dealing with contention is to be stronger with authority (‘that’s enough, Knock that nonsense off’), punish those who are participants, even if one isn’t at fault (‘if you can’t find a way to share, then nobody gets to use it), or to referee for a little while until everyone is tired of the pointless pursuit and change directions.  Ah – Peace.  But it’s only the façade of peace, an imitation, no resolution actually took place, no change of heart, no maturity developed or love deepened.  And so when contention takes place again (which it must), the pain is increased.  The expression ‘Those who do not learn from the past, are destined to repeat it’, applies in our personal past as well as earth’s history.   

I recall a number of years ago, my brother and I were having a discussion about the lessons our bodies teach us about pressure.  It was an unusual topic but the examples that he gave were – should I say, quite memorable.  He mentioned that good usually follows the pains of the pressures.  When I asked for a for instance, he said - a bowel movement…, a woman pushing the baby’s head out…, or the tearing of the muscle tissue during weight training.  Once we work through the burn and discomfort of the pressure, we are better for it, the relief is earned and more rewarding than if we gave up and quit (which you might be able to do with weight training but it’s not really an option with a bowel movement or the birthing process).  And now that I think about it, my labors that were the easiest and most rewarding were the times that I totally relaxed and embraced the pain (the midwife could tell I was having a contraction because I went completely limp and relaxed).  As I visualized the good that was coming about because of this intense pressure, it gave the pain purpose and made it simpler.   And I’ve experienced similar results in other aspects of pain as well. 

So I understand that when I’m experiencing pain - I can become bitter or better.    I can choose to be the victim or the victor.   I can resist and repeat or embrace and be empowered, surrender and survive.  But what choice do I have that will bring the simplicity on the other side of complexity when involves other players, other’s choices, and other’s hardened hearts. 

I guess like so many of life’s lessons – I practice patience, I trust God is aware and will provide for my needs, I exercise faith that Christ can heal this pain, and I humbly seek the promptings to guide my actions. 

Still Small Voice

                                                                                                    by Jane Austen
       A couple of weeks ago I was sick with strep throat.  Swollen tonsils and adenoids not only made it hard to swallow but also made it hard to open my mouth therefore causing my speech to sound impaired and retarded.  My tonsils got so swollen that it became hard to breath and nearly impossible to say anything loudly or clearly.  This came hard to me cause....well, I like to talk (and I speak my mind).  I also love to be heard (mostly by singing lyrics to pop-songs).  Not only was it discouraging but embarrasing too...cause I had  to go to play practice sounding like a retard.
      Talking is something I enjoy doing and not being able to do what I enjoy is bothersome.  Being kept from talking is like keeping something in that needs to be set free.
      After general conference, me still very sick, I somehow asked my mommy to make me some ramen noodles (basically the one food I could still eat).  While she was waiting for it to boil, she went back to the project she was working on. My little brother was on a rampage because he didn't want to do his chores, and I in my sick little retarded voice asked him not to yell, he didn't hear me so I asked again a little louder,  he then yelled even louder only this time at me.  So I picked up a marker and wrote in a notebook

I wonder if this is how the holy ghost feels...

Saying something and then people

don't listen,

don't care

or don't understand

 

     I don't know how he feels but it would drive me crazy.  Talking quietly has always been hard for me, but not being able to talk at all is very humbling. I know the spirit will not speak in a loud booming voice, but silently and quietly whispers. Some people don't listen or don't understand and most of the time don't even hear because of the busy-ness of life

 

I am going to try to listen harder to the still small voice.

 

Touched By Love

I think most families have some type of tradition where the dad turns into a playful monster and the kids run around the house screaming in fear.  In our home, he's called the Bluh-bluh monster (something to do with the sound he makes when growling at them).  Over time this tradition has developed some guidelines that has allowed both Papa and the kids a chance to rest.  If a child would face their fear, run up and kiss him, he instantly falls down asleep for an unidentified amount of time.  As I watched this transpire the other night, I saw parallels with facing my own fears.     

I won't go into much details, but well over a year ago, maybe two, I had offended a friend.  As I realized my offense, I went and apologized, laying everything on the table so to speak, so that she knew exactly what was going on and we could clear the air.  Needless to say, this effort to make amends backfired horribly.  She became terribly embittered toward me and I could do nothing right.  Everytime I saw her, I received livid looks, icy stares, or could feel the venom somehow traveling through the air.  And so I would keep my distance, give her space, and wait patiently for time to do its magic.  But somehow, she didn't seem to be improving with time.  In fact, it seemed to be like an infection that was festering, making things worse and twisting the interpretation of events into something that was so not even true.   Not long after things transpired, I had come to terms with the situation and my heart had healed.  I detached with love - not holding any malice, fear, or resentment.  I had moved on with my life.  But for her sake, I kept my distance so as to not give her more fuel for the fire of hatred she was fanning. 

Then a few days ago, I caught a glimpse of how this bitterness was tearing her up inside.  She didn't want to feel the hurt and anger that was consuming the goodness in her.  It bothered me considerably.  My peace came about because I had given myself time and space - but that wasn't working for her and I didn't know how best to help her to heal.   I decided I needed to counsel with someone who might be able to give me some insight that I was obviously missing.  After sharing a few particulars, my 'counselor' suggested that maybe my detaching from her was what may have been disturbing her so much.  That had never even crossed my mind.  Time and space is what I needed to heal, but it was having the opposite effect on her.  This idea was very disturbing to me, to think that my efforts to be noble and love her inspite of her malice - wasn't communicating love at all, but some type of superiority, hatred, or not needing her.  All I had to do was face my fear of apologizing.... again, even if it backfired.... again, and show her that I loved her in her love language - not mine.  It may or may not keep the bluh-bluh monster down for good, but it is a nice reprieve. 

Another incident occured that had me in awe of the power of love.  My good husband was heavily concerned about the events that are taking place in the world today.  Government's constant meddling in powers that are not their own is taking its toll on those of us who are freedom lovers and honor our founding documents and correct principles.  I won't elaborate which meddling was on his mind, suffice it to say I thought his concern was self-preservation.  But that night as we said our couple prayer, he pleaded with the Lord to remember to have mercy and love for President Obama and the others who are infringing on God's laws.  And it wasn't the pleading that one hopes makes him look good, but a genuine love and concern for these brothers who are lost.  It made me feel honored to be married to such a noble man and a little guilty that I felt only concern for those people who are being duped by them - not the leaders/influencers themselves. 

I know love for them will not equate to the government bluh-bluh monster giving us a rest, but it is certainly a better way of facing our fears.  The Lord counsels:

 'Love your enemies,

bless them that curse you,

do good to them that hate you,

and pray for them which despitefully use you,

and persecute you.' 

What a powerful response when bad things happen.  What a wonderful gift to be able to be touched by love.





A Mother's Retreat - Refreshment for the Soul

Last night, I escaped reality for an night of edification, silliness, and comradery.  I'm so grateful I took advantage of the  opportunity to attend the Mother's Retreat.  Some of the things I learned might include:

1) It's good for the family to be free of mom for a night.  It helps them appreciate my contribution, feel the emptiness when I'm gone, and experience their father's expectations rather than my tempered ones.

2) I have a lot of masculine energy, some very influential feminine energy, and I'm pretty good at making sure I nurture my daily needs (although the retreat was most refreshing)

3) I cannot build and tear down at the same time.  Others or myself.  When I set goals and minutes later say something derogatory about myself - it is like a child  who builds a tower and then throws a missile at the base - there is no permanence of growth or stabilizing the foundation. 

4) Every Master started as a Disaster.  There is hope - Once I get my 10,000 hours in I should have it made.

5) I need to develop two new beliefs, and regularly dig up the evidence - 1) That I don't have to be in audience mode or presentation mode in bigger group settings 2)God has given me the answers that I am seeking.

6) Maybe I shouldn't participate in sleepovers at my age.  My late hour of retiring, snoring, and unplanned alarms going off with other's inability to stay asleep is not a good combination. 

7) I have got such an amazing group of friends and associates that share in or inspire me in weirdness.
 
8) The simplicity on this side of complexity is a facade, and only through embracing, surrendering, and learning from the complexity (working through the burn), can the simplicity on the other side of complexity ever exhibit the genuine real deal.

9) My vision and my mission can change with my current heart's desire - I am called to the work of my choosing. 

10) I am so blessed to be a laid back person - because so many of life's little trials escape my notice, or are so insignificant with the big picture of eternity, that I am not bogged down by them.  So Grateful. 

FACT - without eloquence

This last Christmas, we were given a collection of video clips from church history. As we were watching it, one titled “A Man without Eloquence” came on and we realized it had special significance, because it was about my ancestor, Eleazar Miller. He was depicted as a simple, non-talented man, not having any training in eloquence or public speaking. And yet he stood and bore solemn witness that he KNEW the restored gospel was true, through the power of the Holy Spirit. And it was through his simple declaration and testimony that Brigham Young was converted to the gospel. I’ve known all my life that Brigham Young (the 2^nd prophet in the restored gospel) was baptized by my ancestor so it was a neat discovery that there was actually a video clip made about it.

Up to now, I’ve never felt the inclination to shout upon the rooftops that I know the gospel is true.  It’s not really in my character. And I've never really felt the need to preach my religion to others.  I’m more of a share it through my example, kind of person, and if anybody wants to know more, they can ask me about it. I know it…, so I live it (at least to the best of my ability).  I so want to live the consecrated life, talk the talk and walk the walk, or BE the change I want to see in the world.

I’m not claiming to have any type of mastery here – I’m just stating my preference in how to share the great plan of happiness. But recently, my ‘walking the walk’ was referred to as my feelings and my opinion. It made me consider that maybe I need to be a little more forthcoming and testify that this opinion in their eyes is actually a fact in mine.

In school, we learned the difference between fact and opinion.

                * A fact is something that is true about a subject that can be tested or proven.

                * An opinion is something that one thinks about a subject.

 But we were never taught the standard of the sources or the validity of what can be tested or proven. I've since learned about epistlemologies - the study of defining what is true knowledge. In other words, HOW one defines a fact .  It's where our opinions/beliefs intersect with absolute truth.  And it has not only opened my eyes to my own epistlemologies - it has also made me aware of other professed facts that may or may not be consistent with my epistlemology.  

 Here's the list of common epistlemologies:         
  *Revelation (knowledge revealed directly from God)        
  *Credentialism (Revelation from an expert - someone with credentials, rather than from God)
  *Mandarinism (An official or supposed authority declares facts)          
  *Imperisism (the scientific method proves knowledge)          
  *Pragmatism (the knowledge has stood the test of time and it works)          
  *Aesthetisism (the fact is too ordered and symmetrical to be anything but true)           
  *Reason (the use of one's own logic to prove something)          
  *Historicism (lessons from history and cycles prove the knowledge as true) 

As I considered each of these sources, it brought several questions to mind.  All of them could be  both a good standard or have some serious folly to the standard - with the exception of Revelation.  For instance, if a person is the source (credentialism, mandarinism, reason), there is always the chance of a corrupt application.  Consider Obama as an authority figure who speaks facts -lol.  Or a professor - or the media - who teaches truth (isn't that an oxymoron).  If interpretation is the source (imperisism, pragmatism, aesthetisism, historicism), there is always a chance of error.  If God is the source (revelation), the only error is man's interpretation of the revelation - not the revelation itself.   


Another concern was the idea that with all these sources, and their potential to error - all (except revelation again) could be considered opinion.  So what exactly is the difference between fact and opinion?  One man's fact could be considered another's opinion. 

 I noticed that at times, we use a variety - jumping from historicism to credentialism, or from revelation to imperisism.  Basically, we are wishy-washy as to what our standard is or we feel different facts seem to work best with different standards. 

I began to notice - first in others and then in myself - that one epistlemology is claimed, but then give heed to one of the others, even when in conflict with it.  For instance, a member of my church claims revelation as their standard of truth, but then when a news report, or current statistics indicate something contrary to that revelation, their actions respond in fear and doubt of the revelation.  And vice-versa.  We've all heard the expression - 'There's no such thing as an athiest in foxholes'.  As I considered my own claimed epistlemology - Revelation, and whether I applied that standard of truth in my every day life.  It was an eye-opening experience.              


 Now that I've philosophized the point to death, and come to the conclusion that Revelation trumps all other epistlemologies, I reflect on what 'facts' I have received from Revelation. 

I know what I know because God, himself, has witnessed to me that it is true, the same way it was revealed to my ancestor.  What greater authority can I have than from God?  What other method can be used to prove this is a fact – not an opinion, a feeling, or a belief.   I know that Jesus Christ is the son of God, that he atoned for my and all of mankind’s sins so that we can return back to live with Heavenly Father – and that he did it because he loves us, he loves me personally.  I Know that Jesus lives today and governs the affairs of his kingdom. I Know that it’s never too late, never too bad, never too far gone to turn to him and repent. I Know that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God and he restored the Church of Christ in these last days.  I Know the Book of Mormon is the word of God, as well as the Bible.  I Know that the power of God (the priesthood) was restored as well, and that a living prophet leads the church today.  I know that this is God’s true church and that his Kingdom will continue to grow until Jesus himself comes to reign over all the earth. 

Now, I have no desire to tell others what to think, but I am professing what I Know is a fact - and without eloquence.