How Did I Become a Bigamist?!?!

And guilty of treason! 

It shocked me really. 

When I was only eight years old, I entered into a baptismal covenant with my Father in Heaven, that I would take his name upon me.  I may have somewhat naively entered into that marriage agreement with the bride groom, that allegiance with His Kingdom, that legal adoption into the House of Israel.  But hey, I was only eight years old and dutifully following my parents counsel.  Note – I have NEVER regretted that decision and there have been countless times I’ve been immensely grateful that I had. 

My life is filled with purpose and vision.  My goals are lofty and yet attainable.  My legacy is one I can be proud of. I experience both temporary pleasure and eternal joy.  I have HOPE and a guided path.  

Now, mind you, I still have the web and flow of life.  Ups and downs, trials and blessings. But overall – I have inner peace and genuine happiness.  I like what I’ve become and the potential I’m reaching for.  And my affections for my Heavenly Father continues to increase and deepen over the years. 

In recent years, I've been learning about different worldviews.  It has been an eye-opening experience for my little sheltered life.  The rest of the world seems to offer a lot of different formulas for happiness and I've been able to compare those a little with the Great plan of Happiness.  So Far, I haven’t found much of a comparison.  I found that most of them are based on some truth.  Mind you, some of that truth is severely twisted but nevertheless, it originates on the same foundation.  Because of that, I expected to agree with certain aspects of these varying worldviews.  But what I didn’t expect was to find that I, unknowingly, had adopted some of these twisted perspectives myself. 

Elements of Naturalism, Ethical and Inner Relativism were part of my hard and fast beliefs.  Justifications of Micro-Evolution had seeped into my “possibilities”.  I was feeling empowered by thoughts of Self-Actualization and Positive Mental Attitude and although I didn’t care for ‘The Secret’, I had implemented many of its ideas into my personal philosophy.  Dialectical Materialism made sense even though it was being used for what I think is a perverse purpose.  And there have been many times I’ve felt the need to resort to Pavlovian Behaviorism when dealing with my children.  Pragmatism sometimes outweighed the faith required to trust the Lord would provide.  And Libertarianism seemed like a Savior for our current political nightmare. 

Fortunately, there was a LOT of ideas that I didn't feel a connection with at all.

As I more clearly defined what the different worldviews were . . .  I could more clearly see that I was either hypocritical myself (unfortunately a very good possibility) or brainwashed into adopting beliefs and ideas contrary to my liking or choosing.  In 1961, the Supreme Court recognized Secular Humanism as a religion.  I don’t know if Material Humanism or Post-Modernism, or Cosmic Humanism, or the millions of other worldviews are officially considered a religion yet, but it made me think.  Aside from the humorous aspect that all these Atheists, Individualists, and Polytheists who hold religion in such contempt are now considered “religious” – it also makes my melting pot of mixed up beliefs guilty of bigamy, of treason, of unfaithfulness.  That’s just not gonna work for me.

I know the Lord teaches us line upon line, here a little and there a little and over time, we can attain all that he has to offer.  But obviously I forgot that the adversary works in the same manner.  Although I have been consistent at attending my church meetings and living the Sunday School answers, I still had not only been exposed to but bought into some contrary doctrine and philosophies.  

I have to admit, while I've been weighing each idea and learning about this spectrum of beliefs that others may hold, I couldn't help but conclude that "People believe the stupidest things".  Everyones life experiences, training and education, temperment and personalities vary and so conclusions vary, even with the same external variables.  It does provide for a great variety of ideas (which I love), but makes it challenging to identify the real TRUTH.

I've heard it said, that "truth needs no defense".  That is a beautiful sentiment, but obviously by all these differing worldviews, truth is the most bitterly and subtly attacked.  I do believe it will ultimately win out in the end - but with all these multiple choice options, the casualties are many.

Intrigued, I began clarifying my own beliefs - outlining specifically my own philosophy, theology, pschology, socialogy, politics, law, ethics, etc.  - and the same thing stands true . . . People believe the stupidest things!  Myself included.  At least that's probably what it appears to an outsider looking in.  Fortunately, my belief has received the second witness - the assurer and testifier of truth.  I just KNOW. 

One advantage to this little exercise, I've not only broadened my understanding of other worldviews and perspectives (and it still continues because I cannot even come close to saying I understand it all), but I've clarified and fortified my own beliefs.  Now that I can more clearly see where I'm being inconsistent, I can step back, modify my approach, and be the person of integrity I wish to be -  the monogomist, the patriot, the Faithful.

Coping with Pain

Pain

Emotional Pain

We all experience it at some point in our lives. 

*A desired relationship never comes to pass

*Or a relationship we thought was forever has turned cold

*Questions that we can’t answer . . . no matter how hard we search

*Our foundation is shaken and we don’t know what to stand on

*A loved one uses their agency in a manner you know will hurt them

*The current trial seems unbearable and unfair

*Depression that blocks any hope -trapped by rage, fear, or helplessness

*Realizing “I’m not enough”

*Trying to overcome addiction but instead experience only bondage and powerlessness

*Feeling Stuck – unable to create the change in your circumstances

*Confusion – so many choices, which one is right

*An injury or disease that won’t heal in spite of your best efforts – this is compounded pain because it is both physical and emotional

And it doesn’t seem to help knowing that everyone experiences pain too.  My pain is personal.  My pain is all consuming.  My pain is preventing me from living life on my terms.  

As I consider my own pain and witness friends and family dealing with their pain - I’ve noticed a kind of grouping as to how people generally respond. 

The Quitter

General Jar-Jar at the first sign of trouble says “me give up, me give up”.   This fatalistic approach doesn’t even put up a good fight or preserve self through flight, but goes directly to surrender.  It reminds me of the juvenile response when others don’t play the way they want them to, so they threaten “I won’t be your friend anymore!”

                Those wounded in a relationship decide to never get involved emotionally again.  Those searching for proof but cannot find it quit caring completely.  (This seems to be the response of the so-called atheists/agnostics/deists/etc. because they cannot find what they perceive as a satisfactory solution from deity.)  Those who are weak and worn simply give in to addiction/inclination/temptations.  Those who are stuck continue the same course assuming that’s as good as it gets.  Those suffering from chronic illness or injury are resigned to a life of dis-ease and give up on the search for healing.  And ultimately, those who are discouraged to the point of quitting take their life (based on the false assumption that it will stop the pain)

The Dishonest

This is the band-aid approach to pain. The zit cover-up so that our blemishes have a false front. Not really finding any healing or resolution but a coping response that frequently makes the pain worse after the cover-up wears off or adds up.  We hide in hopes that no one will seek to actually see that we are vulnerable. This is commonly seen as denial, isolation, drinking, over-eating, putting on an act that everything is amazing.

                There are all kinds of love songs that portray the ‘It’s all good’ front but secretly still holding on to the pain of being alone.  The physically injured/ill adopt a lifestyle of popping pain pills.  The confused put on a mask and pick their favorite cover-up weapon.  The addict lives in denial that anything is wrong or that they can stop any time they want to.  The limiting belief of ‘not being enough’ is over compensated with cockiness or maybe humor.  The depressed hide under their facade until such time that they cannot conceal it anymore.  The seeker simply goes through the motions, hoping that something will make sense at some point.  And life’s trials become the trigger for the unhealthy response of drinking (and for those who don’t drink – use other numbing effects such as over-eating, work, watching mindless television, etc.)

The Fighter

Ready to engage, to fight back, to create change.  Sometimes bitter or motivated by resistance or revenge.  These are the movers and shakers, the pro-active creators.  Training and fighting like Rocky Balboa or changing their stars like Sir Ulrich von Lichtenstein or Gandhi.   The fighter becomes their own Savior and rely on their own strength for deliverance.  Their heart is at war - taking matters into their own hands.

The soured relationship turns into looking for something different at best or seeking revenge at worst.  The unresolved heart sets out on a quest in search of the truth – investigating, questioning, weighing.  The concerned friend/parent sets about creating change to reach the heart of their loved one.  The overburdened puts together a plan to simplify or alter the conditions which they are experiencing.  The depressed take measures to cope with their condition in a healthy manner.  The discouraged change their focus to what they can do and choose to be content with things as they are.  The addict seeks help from qualified and supportive sources.  The trapped continue to resist the victim mode by seeking escape or salvation.  The physically hurt continues to search and apply efforts to heal and overcome. 

The Faithful

Trusting, hopeful, full of faith and vision, believing there is purpose in pain, and power in submission.  The faithful put their professed belief in God into actively exercising their faith in him.  Corrie ten Boom in the concentration camps is preserved by trusting and hoping despite her powerless circumstances.  George Washington endured the unbearable conditions of Valley Forge, believing that not only his cause was just but it was God’s will and providence that they would somehow win.  Their heart is at peace – no matter the circumstances. 

The one who is hurting in relationships turns to God for comfort, trusting that there is a valuable lesson to be learned or purpose in the transpired events – and trusting that somewhere, somehow the future will provide the companionship that their heart desires.

Those seeking for understanding continue to search but with a submissive heart - understanding that our purpose is to walk by faith and so we won’t be able to understand all things in this life but at some point in the future, all things will be made manifest, God’s mysteries will all be revealed, and we will understand completely and confess that God’s ways are just.

Those who stand on shaky ground or have been introduced to doubt, instead saturate themselves in what they know is true, doubt their doubts instead of doubting their faith, seek for Heavenly strength and fortify their foundation.

Those burdened with concern for others poor choices, put their efforts into the only source of hope and ultimate power they know – they pray God to soften their heart or bless them with a wake-up call before it’s too late.

Those overwhelmed by their trial pray earnestly for deliverance and seek to learn whatever lesson they are to learn with this situation so that they can move forward.

Those who struggle with depression understand that their perspective is currently tainted and hope for the good moments to break through the darkness to provide some type of relief.  They also understand that this trial is a temporary burden, only during this life, and that they will be free of its grasp for the eternities, if they endure it well.

Those discouraged by their inadequacies, recognize that they are given weaknesses in the flesh for a noble purpose, and God has promised an inheritance to all who magnify their abilities (talents).  And so they put their focus into what they can do, rather than what they are incapable of doing.

The addict humbly realizes that they have used their agency poorly to the point of complete bondage and are incapable of delivering themselves by their own power or even by the support of counselors or well -meaning friends.  Instead, they look to the Savior, accessing the power of the atonement to restore what was deceptively taken from them.

The stuck put their trust in the Lord’s desire for our welfare, knowing that a way is provided, but it is not for us to dictate whether that deliverance occurs in this life or the next.  Always praying and petitioning but still submitting to His will.

The confused eventually trust that the Holy Ghost is the only true source to heed and allow all the other voices, temptations, and options melt into the background.  Again not necessarily understanding completely the error of some options but trusting that the truth will be made clear at some point in the future.

The physically marred can only persevere by their trust that there is purpose in their pain, even if it is only to be an example of how to endure it well.  They understand (in their good moments) that this experience is but a small moment in time and they have the eternities to be immortal and perfected.

The good news is if one identifies themselves in one group but desires to respond to their pain in another – it is a choice.  Oh the power of choice.