Saturday, August 30, 2014

A Fringee's Frustration

“Everybody’s Doing It”

As a youth, whenever I used that argument with my father, he would break out into a boisterous song. 

“Everybody’s doing it, doing it, doing it
Picking their nose and chewing it, chewing it, chewing it”


It was so aggravating that he couldn’t, or wouldn’t, understand the importance of being a part of the crowd. 

I’ve since learned to appreciate his wisdom.  Maybe not the song so much, but the concept that the masses don’t always make the wisest choice. 

With that consideration, I’ve begun a journey which involves walking to the beat of my own drum and down a path that society might not promote or condone.   

Why have a chosen a different path?  I guess you might say my eyes have been opened and my appetite awakened.  Call me ‘Ratatouille’ if you will.   It is difficult to be content eating sewage when I know there is a banquet of delicious gourmet foods available instead. 



It reminds me of the following account.  If memory serves me correctly, Socrates was having a debate with Thrasymachus about the benefits of being just.  Thrasymachus gave case after case of convincing evidence how the ultimate objective, which is happiness, can only be guaranteed by being unjust.

 In each argument, Socrates conceded that he was correct.  But even with all this evidence, Socrates was unmoved in his opinion.   He then began to point out that all of Thrasymachus objectives - (more toys, on top, carefree & fun, a rush, etc.) defined happiness at one level and that level provided temporary pleasure.  But there is a higher level of happiness (inner peace, genuine joy, fulfillment of purpose, service to mankind, etc.) that can be obtained only by being just.  A just person may not have all the benefits of the lower level but the higher level of happiness far outweighs the cost. 


And so this journey has made me somewhat of a fringee – different than the masses, on the outskirts of mainstream.  Not necessarily a social nerd, a computer geek, or trekky (ok, I may be a trekky to small degree).  Not a ‘stuck in an era’, an animal rights activist, a rebel without a cause and ‘I make my own rules’ type of fringee.

 I’d probably call myself a ‘seeker’ type of fringee.  Seeking truth.  Seeking to preserve truth and freedom and correct principles in a world that is rejecting them.  Seeking to devote and consecrate myself to my maker.  Seeking to be a force for good. 

So here is where my frustration comes in.  The more enlightenment, empowerment, and direction I’m given, the more I want to invite others to embark on the same journey.  But because I’m a Fringee, my message is ignored. . .  belittled. . . disregarded.   The closer I come to feeling genuine love and concern for my friends who have chosen a different path, the less effective I am at reaching or influencing them. 


For example.  I keep having this recurring day and night mare.  I visualize myself standing at the bar of God on judgment day and next to me are my dear friends, associates, and even potential associates (if I would have been friendly enough to open my mouth) who did not receive a pass.  They look at me with pleading eyes, and ask why I didn’t share what I had with them while there was still time?

My heartstrings are torn and my eyes well up with tears even now simply thinking about it.  As I consider the billions upon billions of souls who had successfully become victors of their first estate but have, or are, blowing their second estate, I feel overwhelmed with grief, heartache, and compassion. 

But what can I do.  I’m considered a fringee.  Every time I attempt to invite, my effectiveness is a nill because what I have to offer is not considered mainstream.  I’m viewed as “eccentric” and overly “passionate” and have an “over the top” position.   My message, my love and concern, my desire for their obtaining genuine happiness seems to never come to fruition.  And that frustrates me deeply. 

 I suppose I could focus on the positive – and only interact with those who have already chosen to take the same journey as myself.  Have my little clique of fringees who speak the same language and leave the rest of the world to fend for themselves while they enjoy picking their noses and chewing it.  But I find no contentment there either. 

So I’m stuck . . . . . . .  a frustrated fringee.   Still engaged in the noble cause of what I seek, but feeling the pains of rejection.