Every year for Christmas my children receive the gifts of the
wisemen. One gift represents the Gold –
something to delight them, another the gift Frankinsense – something practical
or useful, and one is the gift of Myrrh – something of deep meaning. That one gift of meaning usually indicates a
huge amount of time investment on my part- because sadly I’m not a very craftsy
person.
One year, I made little Sacrament Covenant Booklets, with the
intent of helping the focus be on the Savior and the covenant renewed each
week. I don’t know that the gift was a
great success. If I recall, I didn’t
even finish making them before the 25th deadline arrived. (And I had
every intention of completing the task in the down time between Christmas and
New Year’s. Aye, It didna happen.)
Alright, so it wasn’t a fabulous idea to make nine
individualized, scrapbook style mini-books, but I do know that I developed a
much deeper appreciation for the nature and purpose of the Sacrament that
year. And for many months to come. Since I had put so much of my blood, sweat,
and time into the project, I made sure to utilize it myself.
This address on the Sacrament was a wake up call that I have
slipped back into habitual partaking of the emblems without accessing the power
therein.
I believe I found the point.
The point that makes the difference.
Habitually going through the motions of once a week taking the sacrament
is good, but to receive the cleansing, healing, renewing, and deeply spiritual
experience, there has to be something more.
That something is PONDERING.
I’m as guilty as the next person at having my preparations
for this sacred weekly ordinance consist of gathering all the family at church
(since we’re all there anyway, right) and try to keep the littles quiet so as
to not disrupt others. Oh, and maybe
I’ll have a 2 second visual of the Savior pass through my mind as I covenant to
remember him always. Pretty pathetic, I
know, but unfortunately it has become the norm.
But I have had times where the preparation was much richer
and much, much more rewarding.
Like when I took time on a Saturday evening, or even during
the sacrament itself, to reflect on the previous week. Considering my thoughts, my words and my deeds. Considering my effectiveness at keeping the
commandments completely. Considering
whether I really exercised faith or simply touted my beliefs. Considering
the questions that plague my mind, or problems I haven’t found solutions to, or
challenges I haven’t overcome yet. Considering
the aspects of my life where the atonement has already given me the enabling
power to do more than I could on my own.
That’s a lot of things to consider, especially if we are
totally honest with ourselves. In my
little Sacrament booklet, I included a long list of questions to really help me
to analyze where I stood. Gut wrenching
questions that if answered honestly, I always find a long list of sins that I
hadn’t realized I was guilty of prior.
The pondering point continues. Listen intently on the sacramental prayer and
review the aspects of the baptismal covenant outlined in Mosiah 18:8-13. Such things as my desire, my willingness, my
commitment, my witness as well as God’s promises. Think on the symbolism of the sacrament, and
remember. Remembering is the key to
spiritual growth and so vitally important to the purpose of the sacrament and
our standing firm in our end of the covenant.
In 1 Corinthians 11: 28-29 it states:
“But
let a man EXAMINE himself, and so let him eat of that bread, and drink of
that cup.
“For he that eateth and drinketh
unworthily, eateth and drinketh damnation to himself, not discerning the Lord’s body.”
I’d never
realized before that I had been only doing half of the ordinance. If there is no examination of self, no
reflecting on my progress, no introspection as part of the process, no pondering
- than not only am I not receiving the full benefit of the sacrament, but I’m
cutting my own throat by doing it unworthily.
That ordinance itself takes, what, about 5 to 10 minutes
each week. That’s not a huge amount of
time to examine oneself. But apparently,
the Lord feels it is enough. Enough that
if we ponder, seek forgiveness and inspiration, and recommit; that we can
access the power of the atonement to clean our slate and start fresh.
If I can just do the 3 R’s:
(1) REMEMBER
(2) REPENT
(3) RENEW
Then I feel that I have worthily accepted the Lord’s
invitation to be healed, to be forgiven, to grow spiritually.
